Boyfriend pushing me away

Hi, 

I don't usually write on forums, but Im struggling to help my partner.

My partner has recently been diagnosed with bone and muscle cancer 4 days ago...he is 32. He is a recovering alcoholic, his mum has just died, and he is being evicted from his property next month. 

He started to drink again yesterday, and has said some really nasty things that I am struggling to forgive him for. I constantly reassure him Im not going anywhere, but he just wants to get drunk with his local area drinkers. 

I seriously dont know how to help with the cancer, housing or his bereavment for his mum. On top of this, he is unable to pay any of the housing arrears off as he has been told to quit work due to his leg may need to be amputated next week. 

Please tell me what to do and how to help him, because me reasuuring him is not helping. 

Thank you

  • Hi there ...

    So sorry you've had a rough time.... it sounds heartbraking for you both ... 

    But honestly , you'll probly get different views .. and really .. you have to follow your heart .. I can only give you my take on it ...

    I can't imagine how much of a cancer nightmare he's going through right now .. esp at such a young age ..  and his diagnosis plus looking forward... he may need amputation too .. I think would turn the bravest to drink ... it is so very crule ... and I can only imagine his need to block it all out .. because facing that prospect is overwhelming... 

    I can only imagine he knows he's in a bad place ... and just maybe, at this moment, it's too much trying to keep his own feelings and emotions under any control .. you being there gives him something else to worry about .. which he can't do right now ... he has to sort this one out ... leave the number to McMillan or the Samaritans where he will find it ... I'm so sorry, but right now, standing a step back, while telling him, your right there if he needs you, is all you can do .. it's tough love .. and he may just reach out if you don't keep trying too hard ...  sometimes love means just being there waiting ...

    I'm so so sorry ... but you can always chat on here ... get things off your chest .. sending you a vertual hug...  Chrissie x