Hi,

I know people can tell you not to worry but that is easier said that done!! If they didn't find a mass in your armpit, that is positive!! And really, all you can do is now sit out the wait. I went to get my results with the idea that it was going to be bad news - so actually felt ok when they confirmed it was cancer. You have to hold to the fact most of the breast cancers are now found so early that they are very treatable. The fluttering in your chest is probably anxiety.  Let me know how you get on.

Caroline x

Thank you for your reply, how are you getting on? I am thinking all sorts that it's spread and imagining in my chest and bones. I am being very dramatic I know it's just such a shock. It's definitely cancer just need to find t stage and next steps. Am I right in thinking the op they may remove a lymph to confirm things? 

Thank you. Ok enough googling!

Good!! Go and enjoy your weekend xx

Hi Claire,

How are you doing?

Caroline xx

They have to prepare you. They told me the same thing. You really need to wait till the op, to find out for certain. My sister died of breast cancer at 32 so I had to fill in a genetic questionnaire, turns out I'm just unlucky!!! Did she give you any idea of when your op will be? 
xx

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, that must have been so hard for you, and then to be diagnosed yourself. It's so scary. So were you genetic tested? I haven't had any word of my op yet, it's been 2 weeks since the mammogram, one week since results, I was told it could be 2-6 weeks so just a waiting game. I am having ok days but very anxious and finding it all very hard. 

My sister died in 2004, so quite a while ago. After she died I was sent to see a genealogist and had to go through family history. They felt I wasn't really at any more risk than anyone else - I was 33 when she died. This time, I just had to complete a family history questionnaire bit no tests.

I got my biopsy results in the middle of July and had my op on the 15th August, so a 4 week wait. They will have to do it within a certain amount of time so I'm sure you should get a date soon. Keep your chin up hun xz

Ah thank you. Hope you are feeling ok yourself? Has life returned to some sort of normal for you now? X

I'm good!! And yes, life is back to normal but to be honest I tried to make life normal throughout the whole process. I had my op in August, then another one in Sept. I had radiotherapy in November, for 3 weeks. Now on tamoxifen - which makes me feel pretty exhausted but take it before bed. I have my first check up in April. I do worry about it coming back but try to not let it over power me and I know it's unlikely. Im sure as April approaches I will start to get a bit more anxious but my mantra is to focus on the positives everyday. This is a wake up call and life is for living. I am determined that cancer will not get the better of me - mentally or physically.

xx

That's so good, You have such a good positive outlook and I appreciate your messages. They make me feel better. Thank you! I'm glad you are feeling good x

Hello, how are you? I've got my date for lumpectomy and senital node op it's 9th March, so quite a wait then another wait for results. I'm struggling with positivity at the moment x

Hello, how are you? I've got my date for lumpectomy and senital node op it's 9th March, so quite a wait then another wait for results. I'm struggling with positivity at the moment x

Hi Claire, not too far away - 3 weeks.  It's the waiting and not knowing that is definitely the hardest. I've been out with my friend from work today. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks after me, but she's only 29. She has had to have chemo, which made me feel really guilty about, as she's had a much harder journey than me. But she's got chemo no.5 on Tuesday and then just one more, 3 weeks after that. She's had a mastectomy and will also need radiotherapy, but she's so upbeat!! The chemos been hard but she's been a trooper and made it look easy!!! So, please - even if you need chemo, it's not the end of the world - they will sort you out and give you the best treatment you need. My friend has even embrassed the bald look and looks amazing. Try and focus on positive things - don't dell on what might be!! Xxx

That's so good she's getting on well. It can't have been easy. There's so many different journeys. Waiting and not knowing is proving to be hard so I only hope I can cope with the rest of the journey. I've been reading lots again tonight. I really wish I hadn't! I was meant to be having reiki tomorrow which I was hoping would ease some of the anxious thoughts but we have lots of weather warnings here and the place I was going to is affected by tides so will need to re arrange. My poor husband is doing his best and it's so hard for him seeing me down. Tomorrow I'll be positive thank you for your reply 

Claire,

This is beyond a doubt, will be one of the hardest journeys you will travel in life and will give you lots of ups and downs. Stop googling and start thinking of the battle and that you will be stronger than cancer. Don't let it win!! Hope you manage to get your reiki tomorrow!! I'm off to London for a chocolate afternoon tea, with unlimited Prosecco - so food and alcohol that isn't good but life is for living!!! Hope the storms aren't too bad up there xx

Hope you are having a great time in London! Sounds amazing. I did the moonwalk there years ago, it's a fab city. My sister in law used to live there. Going for reiki at 2. I think it will help. Then a family weekend of fun with the kids and my husband. Xx

Hi Claire,

Ive done the moonwalk about 8 or 9 times!! Had a fab day in London. Hope your reiki went ok? Xx

Great glad  you enjoyed London! Reiki was so good I'm booked in for another two before my op x

Hi Caroline, hope you had a good Monday! Just wondered  if you had any info on how quickly the cancer spreads. I'm probably imagining it but I few like it's spreading daily. The waiting game seems so long

Hi Claire,

Im sure I read that it takes on average 28 days for a cancer cell to reproduce itself and you need a lot of cells for a tumour and then for cells to start moving away. Hormone related breast cancer is known for being a slow growing cancer.  They also say that most breast and bowel cancers could have been growing over a period of 10 years as they are slow growing. I know the waiting is hard, but seriously, if the hospital were concerned, they would have done your surgery urgently. Try not to let it take over your thinking - I know that is easier said than done though!! I still worry about it now!! I found I was better if I was busy, at work or with friends. It acted as a distraction XX 

Thank you, I'm still on maternity leave so I have my beautiful girl as a distraction but when she naps it takes over. Need to get on with things better tomorrow. So hopefully things aren't going too crazy big inside! X

Hi Cl4ir3 and cazrosie

Have just read your posts as I'm recently diagnosed. I'm lucky to have friends who are in nursing and with experience (pesonal, professional) in cancer. Here's whats helping me:

- No Google. (That was hard fo rme, I usually cope by looking things up)  One friend said 'Google will tell you lots of things that may never happen - it's better to adjust to your own situation today, than to prepare for things that might not happen'.

- Another friend said 'I let my doctor and nurses give me the information, rather than getting it from anyone else.' I look up things in the Information Pack that the nurses gave me. But I have to say that I've only looked up the things that are going to happen next. So I read about getting lumpectomy and lymph nodes before the surgery, but didn't go any further than that. It would have been too much for me.

Before lumpectomy, the nurses said they had to tell me what could happen during after the surgery (lyphm clearance, chance of lymphodoema etc etc) so that there would be no surprises. I see why they did it but...it was hard to take it all in and I felt really anxious after the appointment and nervous that I wouldn't heal properly. Mot to mention finding out that it might have spread.

My primary cancer was small (6mm) and there was no cancer in the sentinel lymph nodes. I feel better knowing that. But now there is the next wait to find out what stage it is, whether they got it all, and follow up treatment. Ten more days to wait to get that news.

DIstraction really helps. I asked friends and family to call me at those quiet times when I might get to thinking too much. Then I can look forward to getting a daily call from someone. They take turns calling. So I have a conversation with someone every day, but not with ten people a day if that makes sense. I'm planning holidays which is a great distraction. Reiki is a great idea, I will try that! 

Hope you manage to find ways to pass the time that are of help to you!