Vent away, you are heard, and you are entitled....nothing to add other than that at this point....

Thank you <3

HI MrsLyc,

Your feelings mirror those of each and every one on this site. For some strange reason, we all seem to think of cancer as something that happens to others. Unfortunately, this is far from true. It is no respector of age, creed or colour.

We all go through the plethora of emotions from anger,' why me?', to floods of tears and everything in between. You will feel a little better once you start treatment and feel that you are moving forward. Your hubby's visit to get his hair cut is typical - we just don't think rationally.

Most people don't tell their children until they know the full diagnosis. Even then with a 4 year old, just a simple description is usually enough. However, you are quite right, children quickly pick up on any vibes within the house and, have big ears when it comes to overhearing concersations and telehone calls that they are not supposed to hear. There are booklets with advice on how to break the news to children. Ask your breast care nurse and she should be able to point you in the right direction.

Can you take someone with you to the hospital? It is always a good idea to do this. It is also helpful to draw up a list of questions before each consultation, as it is all too easy to forget important questions in the heat of the moment. None of us want to be in this position, but unfortunately, we're not given a choice. Most of us end up thinking the worst, but fortunately this seldom turns out to be the case.

You say that you are worried about recurrence. I had a recurrence 9 years ago, a year after I had my lumpectomy. This time I had a double mastectomy and, I haven't looked back since. In that time I have been blessed with 2 beautiful granddaughters, so please try your best to look forward with positivity.

I replied to another post that you have written collectively, so won't repeat what I said there. I sincerely hope that your tests prove that you are dealing with an early cancer and, that you will soon be cancer free.

Please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you, whether for information, advice or simply to vent.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you for the information, I will ask about the booklet. She started school in September so I think I will speak to the school at some point too and ask them to look out for any changes. My husband has been with me at every appointment so far and my mum will be coming to whichever he can't make too. With my age and family history the consultant mentioned genetic testing and a small part of me wants a double mastectomy just so my chances of reccurence are much lower even though i know its nothing to be taken lightly, also if I have got it then it will be another wory as to whether I have passed it on! The worry is never ending!! x

Hi MrsLyc,

I have a daughter too and, we faced this together. In the end she decided that she didn't want the cancer lablel around her neck any sooner than she had to have it, so we decided not to do the investigations. Instead she checks herself regularly and, will hopefully catch any signs as early as possible.

It is always a good idea to talk to your daughter's teachers too and, ask them to look out for any problems at school. I am glad to hear that you have always taken your husband to appointments and, that your mum is there in reserve, should your husband not be able to make it.

I must say that I was very fortunate in that my surgeon was quite happy to give me a double mastectomy and, I have never looked back. However, I know that a lot of surgeons are reluctant to do this and advise patients to stick to a single.. 

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

So my receptor results have come back today and they are positive for the female hormone which means taking tablets for up to 10 years after but unfortunately her negative which means I'll have to have chemo. Breast nurse says it's treatable and it's the second best outsome but i can't help being gutted about having to have chemotherapy! x

Hi Mrs Lyc,

Sorry to hear that you are going to need chemo. Have you been given a grade or type for your cancer yet? It is good news that you will be able to take tablets for 10 years and, it certainly sounds eminently treatable.

Has there been any mention of surgery and, have you been told when your chemo will start yet? 

Jolamine xx

Hello Jolamine, 

No grade or type yet. Breast nurse said they should get my MRI results tomorrow and then she will see me in clinic to go through everything. She said that I would have surgery first and then chemo after but hasn't given any dates or time scales yet :( I've just been reading (I know I shouldn't!) and now I'm not sure if my her2 is negative or positive as it looks like positive is the one that requires chemo but it doesn't really matter I suppose, the doctors know what they are doing and I will know soon enough xx

HI Mrs Lyc,

Did you get your MRI results to-day, or do you have to wait until you see the nurse again?You might find it helpful to draw up a list of questions before you see her again. This would also be an opportunity for you to ask for a leaflet outlining how to break the news to your daughter. I came across such a leaflet when I was browsing through Breast Cancer Care. It is entitled: Talking with your children about breast cancer. If your nurse can't help you can get a copy of this by phoning: 0345 09 0800, emailing:

breastcancer.org.uk, or writing to:

Central Office

Chester House

1-3 Brixton Road

London

SW9 6DE

I hope that your results are good.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx