Hi,

This is all new to us - so I apologise in advance for any rambling, not sure where to start really.  My 71 year old mum has been diagnosed with CUP (cancer of unknown primary) and so far they have told us she has tumours in her liver, in her lungs, lymph nodes and blood clots in her lungs.  She has only been unwell for 4 weeks (has been back and forth to GP for a few months for symptoms including water infections but nothing major).  The week before Christmas we were given the devastating news about the cancer and that it is incurable.  She is in total shock as are we!  She was an active 71 year old so never saw this coming.  In hospital they gave her blood thinning medication for the blood clots and were having an MDT meeting Monday before christmas Eve to discuss the prognosis and possible treatments.  They also took a biopsy from her neck to see if they could determine what the cells were doing.  She was discharged on Friday before Christmas and was mobile, in fairly good spirits, but since she has got back to her home, (which she was desperate to do)  she has deteriorated and feels as though she cannot get out of bed.  She feels so nauseas she cannot eat or smell food (she has anti sickness tablets, which have been changed by out of ours 111 service, to no avail)  Her partner, who does not live with her, has been staying over but he does not drive and is almost blind so not great with the care, although she doesnt really need any personal care as such, she can walk to the toilet etc, but she is choosing to take to her bed.  She is getting really angry with him for asking her about taking her tablets and shouts at him if he tries to cook anything to eat for himself as she cannot stand the smell !  I feel so sorry for her, as her world is upside down and we all realise why she is angry/sad/down etc.  I have come over to stay with her while I can (i work full time)  and my daugher is also brilliant and comes when she can - but she has 2 little ones (whom my mother adores) and also works, so tricky to get to mums at times due to her living in a quite remote area.  I called the GP today to see if they could possibly do anti sickness as an injection (as they did in the hospital) and the GP kindly informed me that she would not get any home visits or district nurses etc, as mum was out of their catchment and she would need to change GPs!!  As if we have not got enough to worry about, now got to try and sort this between us.  Is this common for the deterioration, I have spoken to mum today about how she is feeling and she said she doesnt feel ill as such, she just cant be bothered (her words)  I explained to her that when she is up to it, we can fight this thing together which she does want to do.  I feel so disappointed that she has been discharged from hospital , with no medical intervention and that we have had to try and sort things ourselves which is so difficult when you are all trying to come to terms with the shocking news in the first place!!  Can anyone suggest who to contact, or should we just wait for the meeting with the Oncologist on Monday ??  we feel so isolated and out on a limb, not knowing what we are supposed to be doing for the best for mum. 

Thanks for listening, I will try and update, as and when I can.