Questions to ask the oncologist

Hello

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September, but following a PET scan have just been told that it is stage 4 with lymph nodes and pelvic bone affected. I am having my first appointment with the oncologist tomorrow and was told by the consultant breast surgeon (who I now won't be seeing again) that I should try to think of all the questions I need answered.

I've made a list but wondered if anyone else in this situation of only being offered palliative care, had any suggestions of questions they wished they'd asked at the start of treatment.

Am I likely to be given a time scale prognosis or is this left deliberately vague?

I am a (normally) very fit and healthy 63 year old: I feel grateful not to have been ill when my children were children but would still love to be able to grab a little more time with my family and friends.

  • Hi there ..

    So sorry you've had that news .. I was your age when I had my mastectomy over 2 years ago ..  and I had a grade 3 ... and I thought my time was up .. but still here and fighting .. you know I can't help with questions ... but I'm answering you to take you back to the begining and hopefully someone who can think of something that will help will pop on ...

    You hold on in there .. you push those boundaries, and make the most of every day , that's what I'm doing ..  trying not to waste a single day ... because no one knows if they have tomorrow cancer or healthy .. so here's to pushing cancer down this road .. and I hope we both get a fare few more memories yet ... 

    Chrissie xx

  • Hi pommegran are you sure it's palliative care, I've got prostate cancer that's gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung, I'm uncurable it was found February 2016, I'm on hormone therapy and cemotheropy now and again the cemo shrinks the cancer down to make life bearable, I'm 67 and looking after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care, we manage OK we've just got some carer's in to mainly give her a good wash every morning it's a bit orquard on your own to hold her up and wash her properly, best wishes... Billy 

  • Hi Chrissy

    Thank you for your reply: it's appreciated! I did think after having posted the reply that maybe it should have gone in a different topic area as really it's more about living with cancer in the future (however long that may be).

    I started very positively, thinking that I would have chemo followed by a mastectomy but now I've rather had the rug pulled from under my feet by being told (despite nothing showing on the mammogram or intitial scan) that the cancer has spread to the extent that it's now incurable. However, I think that the only option is to follow your advice and try to live each day as fully as possible whilst I can, so I've booked in for a zumba class this afternoon which should certainly take my mind off any problems!

    Sue x

  • Hi Billy

    Thanks for your reply: that February 2016 date certainly made me feel better as I'm dreading being told that I've only a few months left. I'm usually trying to be positive and tell myself that with the newer drugs available, I could still be here in a few years time but at night when i've got a lot of pain it's easy to think of the worst.

    Reading your message makes me count myself very lucky in having a husband who although older than me, is pretty fit and healthy, so will certainly be able to give me physical support when needed. time to count my blessings, I think.

    Best wishes

    Sue

  • Hi sue strange that you've got older hubby were other way, I'm 67 wife's 82 trouble is she needs 24 /7care we manage but struggle now and again we've just got carers in to wash her each morning as I'm struggling to hold and wash on my own. But life goes on that's main thing. Please let us know how things are going. (don't worry just being nosy).. Billy