Hi VicKat

There is a very small percentage of this cancer not caused by hpv, but if you had one of these cancer variants you would know about it as it would be unusual. The virus can lay dormant in your system for literally years and years, so you could have got it from any partner you had contact with before your husband, or indeed your husband from the start of your relationship. There is no test for men, so no way of knowing if he had it when you met, but if either of you had sexual contact with anyone else before you met, it could be from that. Once you have hpv your immune system can clear it in the sense that it can be dormant, but it is always in your system and only does damage when it’s active. 

There is a real stigma around hpv, which is completely unjustified as it is so common. For some people carrying the virus it never causes any problems and in any event only certain high risk strains-and there are over a hundred strains of hpv- cause abnormalities which can lead to cancer. I have 2 daughters, older than yours, but to be honest hpv didn’t come into the discussion about my cancer. They were much more concerned by the fact I had cancer and what my treatment was. Personally I wouldn’t focus on why you have this cancer, but on how your going to get rid of it. I see that as a much more positive way to look at things. I wouldn’t mention it unless they do, personally. My eldest daughter has had abnormal smears so is closely monitored but we still don’t discuss hpv. I didn’t see it as an issue. Do you really feel you have to bring hpv into your discussions with them? xx