hi Steffie,

My mum has just come out of hospital because she was really poorly with stomach pains etc, they found a shadow on her Colon, and lesions on her liver through a CT scan. She was in a lot of pain so she also had an emergency stoma fitted (mums one can be reversed)

Unfortunately they found cancer in her biopsy, so she’s now at home and learning to deal with her stoma which I can say she really is dealing with it amazing! I’m so proud of her. It’s not noticeable atall, and she’s copying with it very well.

I would say please don’t worry just yet, a stoma being fitted will be a good thing if there’s an obstruction as this can make matters worse. They will probably take a biopsy whilst fitting the stoma.

Please stay strong, i was so worried 5weeks ago about my mum as she was so poorly, I have now come to terms with the fact she has cancer. But her stoma as helped her so much as she was in so much pain, we have to deal with one step at a time.

Sarah 

Hi Sarah, 

Thank you so much for your response. I'm glad your mum is coping well with the stoma,im just sorry she's had to go through it in the first place. 

He had his operation and stoma formation on Sunday and the surgeon said he removed all he could see. He said he could have rejoined the bowel but decided to form the stoma just incase he would need to go back in to operate in the future so a reversal is possible in the future. We know its cancer but its now just a waiting game for the results which is what I'm struggling with the most. I just wish we knew the next step so we know what to expect. 

The nurses have been great with us both and he's loving the attention . He's really positive and upbeat (to my face anyway) which is putting me to shame as to his face I'm as upbeat as I can be but when I'm alone I literally fall apart. I'm scared of life without him. I'm sure it's normal to fear the worst case scenario but I just can't shake it off. He seems so well, he was walking with the physio yesterday and his stoma is working already which is great. He's only young and otherwise healthy so hopefully he will get through this.

I really appreciate your response to my post. I wish you and your mum all the best luck in the world. 

Stephanie 

I to feel like yourself my Dad has rectal cancer with spots also on his liver. He is having a Stoma on Monday 7.10 ! So much to take it ! X

Hi Stacey, 

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Its just such a horrible thing to go through. My husband has had his stoma for nearly a month now and he's coping fantastically with it. He's amazing me all the time, I'm sure yoyr dad will to. We see the oncologist in Monday to see what our next steps are, we also get the CT thorax results to see what exactly we're dealing with. Some days are good and I forget for seconds and everything feel normal, then it hits me like a tonne of bricks. I think that's normal tho, emotions are all over. I wish you're dad, you and your family all the luck and love in the world to get through this awful time

Stephanie xx

Thanks for replying I also feel the same . Some days im ok then other days it totally overwhelms me . I have found it so difficult to watch a loved one in so much discomfort and not be able to make it all ok.  It’s like being on a mad rollercoaster daily ! . I hope you have good news with the results xx

It's hard not being able to take the pain away. My husband has literally been amazing, so strong and I get annoyed at myself for getting upset and it being him comforting me when it should be the other way round!. We were due to go on holiday in 2 weeks, our first ever family holiday and our first one since 2012, not being able to go is the only time iv seen him upset and it breaks me. Cancer is cruel, evil and choses anyone at any time. My advice is talk about it if you're not already, it does help, and spend time with your dad. I find when I'm with my husband everything seems better and I'm more positive, when I'm away from him that's when I catastrophise and think the worst and send myself into a depression. I hope everything goes well on Monday  xx

We have cancelled holiday in October as I need to be here to look after my Dad.  You are right it’s a cruel vile illness. Your husband sounds amazing and will pull you through the dark days . Take care and look after yourself too

xx Stacey xx

You too xx

Stay strong x