Hi Sam

Well I am home, and finally functioning with some normality after such a long journey. I managed to slip in the hotel room bathroom to make it a hat trick of falls and gave my ribs a severe bashing on the marble a couple of days before we left.  I have some lovely bruises in various places and I am fairly whiny as it’s really painful! However I was whisked around airports in a wheelchair by various nice lads which was helpful...except the little lad at Hong Kong who looked about 12 and could only say “hello”, “go” and “ok”. He was running with me to the gate, shouting what sounded like “kill me” but I think it was an attempt at excuse me... it was hilarious and I was literally tipped into the plane. Anyway I survived! 

I am a great fan of visualisation and relaxation..I think it’s very useful. I’ve never seen any courses up near me, but they also do a looking good session which I understand has a nice goodie bag. 

You’re lucky having such a good support network...I am Billy no mates here, despite being here for 7 years now. Sometimes feels a bit lonely now I don’t work, but I suppose I’m used to it. I have the 4 cats to keep me occupied and for cuddling. An old friend from uni days lives near Huddersfield and is threatening to visit next weekend but is notoriously unreliable so I’m not sure she’ll come as planned. But stepson and new girlfriend stayed last night and we had a takeout and a couple of drinks which was nice. They are good company. 

Sounds like you’re doing really well on your treatment...long may it continue. Bike riding is impressive too! I have my next 3 monthly check up on Tuesday so fingers crossed all is ok and I can manage to get on and off the couch for my examination. I am moving very gingerly these days! xx

I would want to say DR for doctor ? As I see mine the same day I have my pre chemo bloods done ‍♀️

Minska

Good lord you are a dangerous lady! Ever thought of becoming a stunt woman, or perhaps you're in secret training.  Any hoo hope you are feeling ok despite being accidentally horizontal quite a few times recently.  I bet you have some cracking bruises, I can however think of better & more fun ways to get loads of bruises.  Glad you were treated well at the airport.

Yeah am availing myself fully of all the things that are available, have the look good feel better course next week (if someone drops out) or November.  Have bought some new make up in anticipation though still need to give skanky make up brushes a shampoo..only really do it when they get very noticeably full of cr4p.  Always better things to than clean ANYTHING!

My support network is very northern based though have a few pals (and mother no1) down here, its quite difficult to make new pals (as it to find partners other than through horrible things like tinder) as you get older, as most of them have been via school, uni, jobs...am hoping to not have too many more of the latter!

So you have a flakey friend eh?  I now have two who are called flakey Helen & flakey Alison, they are just rubbish at sticking to agreed plans, it really annoys me as I would move heaven & earth if I had something planned and then had challenges meeting that agreed time/place for whatever reason..this is because, of course, I am practically perfect (call me Mary Poppins, apart from the liking children part) & expect everyone to follow my (very hard act to follow!) lead!  Am on the 3rd attempt to try & meet flakey Alison and have given up on flakey Helen for now.  Hope your Huddersfield pal gets their act together for this weekend.

Hope your 3 monthly check up went well.  Got my bloods & doc appointment today & then round 3 (ding, ding!) tomorrow...always a good laugh with a pal & the lovely nurses on the ward, will be having the first outage of the new port..how exciting.

Keep well & do stop falling over

Sam X

Julia

You are correct but drink red would be sooo much more exciting!

Sam

Hey Sam

i like to live life on the edge! I have some cracking bruises and sore ribs but improving daily I hope. My flakey friend proved herself ultra flakey and messaged to say she wasn’t coming. This was on the grounds of her high blood pressure and self diagnosis of fibromyalgia, She failed to ask how I was, I restrained myself from saying wtf and was very polite, despite wanting to stab her! 

My check up didn’t go so well...the doctor found something and got my consultant to have a look. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, so I have to have another mri scan. I hate them with a passion! Bravely asked what was next.,.goes to the specialist gynaecologist guy, he makes a decision....could be scar tissue, but may need a biopsy under a general, potentially a hysterectomy. This quite astonished me as they don’t usually do hysterectomies after radiotherapy, so not sure if this is good or bad. Amazingly I am thinking it might be good. 

So...head has not been in a great place...I was so sure I would be fine as I have no symptoms. But the consultant was smiling-quite unusual- and said he might be being over cautious. Head been a bit minced, but I need to get back to being positive! 

Hope you’re doing ok...we have a date for red wine in God’s country to come! xx

Yo Minska

Ha!  Your ultra flakey pal sounds like my aunt where its all about her, on the plus side people like that make us look quite saintly.  My stance is if you make the effort then I'm game but I won't till you do.  And stabbing is probably far too good for some, far too much effort I find, plus stabbing are much too London centric nowadays, I think a much better fate would be something that lasted for quite some time like a tattoo on the face (explaining their "crimes") or something subtle like that...just an idea!

Sorry the check up found unwelcome new news...its never ending isn't it?  Its so great to get old eh? I'd also be happy to have unnecessary innards whipped out but would rather not have an operation to do so...its a pity that we can't have ops like they envisaged on Star Trek isn't it, it would make life so much easier.

So biopsy appears to be next for you eh?  Hope it happens soon so you're not in no mans land for too long.

All good here in the scheme of things, its my "pathetic" post chemo week where I am wanting to be doing stuff but brain/body are a little non-compliant but can't complain.

Went to see Judy at weekend, it was quite good and Renee Z was very good, if its your thing I recommend, and I amazed myself at not falling asleep mid movie so vvv proud of self.

Hope its as lovely weather (i.e. Miserable & rainy) oop north as it is down here.  Stay well and keep upright.

Sam X

Hiya Sam

MRI booked in for tomorrow afternoon-guessing I’ll get the results next week. The lady who phoned me with the appointment asked me if I knew where the hospital was! Errr...yes...after 32 radiotherapy and multiple scans I unfortunately know very well where it is! 

Trying not to overthink it just yet...lots of ladies I speak to online are in the same position so just hoping for the best. 

Rubbish weather so I am inside where there is more chance of staying upright...ribs are still sore so I have been taking to my bed with a hot water bottle and a cat regularly. I chose the cat who has not been vomiting for the past 2 days for obvious reasons. Oldest cat appears to be unwell, second oldest is doing the vomiting and making a lot of noise and the other 2 seem fine although my bed companion will only eat anything if it’s night time, it’s mashed up with a fork, and placed on a towel on the duvet. I think they all seem pretty neurotic right now.

I hadn’t been to the cinema for ages, literally years until I went to see Downton last month. I really should do it more often. I didn’t fall sleep, as I have done in the past, but I think it was due to being scared of dropping the massive popcorn container on my knee and drawing unwelcome attention from other viewers. I had no idea it was going to be so large when we cheerfully said we’d have a popcorn and drink combo deal. This appears to be very generous in Worksop! 

Going to my Spanish lesson tonight...only started last week with a private tutor. So far if anyone asks me to count to ten or tell them how many nephews I have I should be fine. 

Huddersfield pal has a doctor’s appointment today where I think she’ll be telling them she has fibromyalgia. I am going to earn saintly points by messaging to see how she is and wish her well for the appointment to see if that might jog her memory about my cancer. 

Hope you recover quickly from your chemo dip..but remember to rest and not feel guilty. I haven’t even had a shower yet and have no excuse! xx

Minska

Mmmm hot water bottle and a cat, guess am lucky that my cats are so fat they are effectively hot water bottles but on the downside also have a tendency to pin me to the bed by lying either side of me, it is a wonder there haven't been any early morning incidents with me not being able to reach the toilet in time when needed!

Your cats sound like a handful, how old are the eldest 2?  The boyfriend has one that is his baby that is 20 and is quite like Lazarus.

Fingers crossed for good MRI news which you'll hopefully get this week.

I am traditionally a glutton so at the cinema will not allow self to be outfaced by a large helping of salted (you can keep your sweet) popcorn though did suffer one time when trying to be too much  of a pig and had ice cream tub balanced on top of popcorn which not surprisingly fell off when went to sit down and landed on the floor such that all the ice cream fell out - serves me right!

Spanish lessons eh?  You could talk to my cats (a crazy woman rescued them from Spain).  The best I can do is French and that's not generally successful given my terrible pronunciation and Yorkshire delivery.

Not really found time to rest yet! Had a uni pal round since Thurs so been taking advantage of her being here to get out & about, I would really struggle unless on deaths door to have someone else in the house & not want to do something...am only a good patients when the nurses are professional or me!  We went to Beachy head yesterday which was bracing but great views so had a good wander, some of the upwards parts did challenge my chest ( a bit breathy thanks to the chemo) but do feel better for it.

I have a very dull week ahead where I'll do some work and as its traditionally the week when feel best, will hopefully get out for a bike ride or 2 and another visit to the gym.  Am now mentally fit (so actually want to do things) its just that my body is playing catch up.  Will also go into the office to annoy them one day (plus good to get out from these 4 walls).

Also have a new chemo plague...a lovely spotty head, I mean like the grade 1 and balding parts weren't enough! Apparently it will disappear but for now is sore & itchy...great!

Right time for an evening of trash TV.

Sam X

Minska

How's tricks? Hope everything is ok, just checking in.

Having a chilled sofa day as its the start of my pathetic week, plus managed to just put my poor visiting northern mother on a bus replacement train service as took her to the wrong train station.the chemo has now destroyed the brain!

Hope bruises are now all gone and you've now got (good) MRI results.

Sam X

Hey Sam

Sorry, I’ve been missing in action a bit recently as my head’s been mince as they say up in Scotland.

MRI shows something tiny where my tumour was...only 11mm but it was picked up. Saw a new oncologist who is brilliant and very positive! Where the tumour was zapped leaves a hole, and the body can create scar tissue when healing so I’m hoping that’s what it is. If it’s the pesky beast back for another go, she is looking at doing a salvage hysterectomy if she can. She won’t go along the lines of “what ifs” at the moment beyond that.

I have a pre op assessment on Wednesday this week, a pet scan on Thursday and I’m scheduled for her to do a biopsy under general anaesthetic on the 26th November so it’s all go. I am due to go to Brugge on 29th November and she said I’d be fine to go and not to cancel.

I’m now attending another 2 hospitals for these things, which takes me to 6 different hospitals altogether and I’m going for a bingo full house on Yorkshire/Nottinghamshire medical facilities! 

Had a complete meltdown this week where I went crazy..just all the fear and stress back when I thought I was fine. Back to being calm now and getting on with it in the proper northern way!

Chemo brain is real...your poor mum! Have a nice chilled day and rest up. Hope your spotty head is not giving you any trouble! xx