Hi Lauren - I'm very sorry your family is in this situation & that you're struggling with how to cope with it & there's no reason on earth, at this stage, that you ought to know what to do. In other words sweetie what you are feeling is normal

A big part of what's happening to you is that you are probably struggling to accept the diagnosis you dad has had. Acceptance isn't something that happens immediately - it does take a little bit of time & horrid tho' it sounds, when that happens to you, your feelings will change. No-one can tell you how/when that will happen but it will & then you'll be able to move on to coping with what is to come. I'm sure you feel you won't be able to cope but we human beings have a much greater capacity to manage awful situations than we might think. In due course you will find the strength to deal with what is to come.

I hope there is someone close to you who you can share your feelings & worries with. It's important not to keep them bottled up. It's good you've posted here because there are people who understand & will offer you support. So do keep posting as & when you feel you want to.

Most importantly - you must do your best to focus on today & not tomorrow or next week or on may or may not come. We none of us know that & tomorrow will take care of itself.

Remember post here when you want to - you aren't alone. xx

Hi Lauren - I do understand why you are asking the kinds of questions you are but they are questions, really, without answers, & even if there were answers it isn't, sadly, going to change anything. This is why I think you have still not got to a place of acceptance - a place no-one ever wants to go when it concerns a loved one & I do understand that, truly I do.

You say you can't bear that you are going to be without your dad. Such a thing is impossible to imagine I know. My dad died when I was 24 & the shock was massive. He died suddenly & we didn't have chance to say goodbye or say anything at all.

Your dad is still with you & you don't know for how long. What I would say is to make the most of the time you have left with him - share every moment you can. Talk to him & with him & leave nothing unsaid & don't be afraid to do it. I can absolutely promise you that you will never regret it - make some memories that will carry you through what is to come. 

I'm nearly 68 years old & very often talk to a photo I have of my dad holding me when I was a baby. He makes me smile when I remember what a rogue he was - your dad will ALWAYS be with you so tell him now how you feel & how you'll miss him. He & your mum brought you into the world to live a life & that includes the good & the very, very sad. I believe you'll make your dad proud by helping him & talking together. 

As I said to you earlier try not to think about tomorrow, just get through today, & tomorrow will take care of itself.Love to you x

thank you, I have told him and I have cried to him and with him and I will continue to do so.

thank you for being so kind and understanding my complete desperation for this all to be a bad dream, I wonder if il ever accept it because I don’t want to imagine a life without him, a wedding without him and my two little boys not remembering him. It’s a hard pill to swallow I can’t seem to control my tears as of yet xx

hi

its understandable the way you feel. I have been there with both my parents. I cried so much in the first weeks. I even detached myself from friends because I became angry because they were getting on with life as normal and mine had been turned upside down.  I couldn’t say the word cancer. I hate it.. still do. What I will say is that as time goes on you do get the strength to cope. Dad will cope too. It’s a hard road ahead but you will all pull together and you will smile and laugh on the good days and lots of tears on the bad days. Always talk about the way you feel. It’s ok to be scared. Live for today and whatever tomorrow brings you will get through. This disease effects  every family at one time or another. Never feel alone because there are so many of us been where you are right now. Keep strong . Xx

thank you, I just hope he gets given years rather than weeks or months xx

Hi Lauren. 

I wanted as much time as I could with them. Looking back we talked about everything I had the chance to tell them everything I needed them to know. They talked to me about what they wanted me to know. One of my last conversations was with my mum just before she passed in 2017 , she told me that her passing away wouldn’t be the end but the start of a new beginning somewhere beautiful and peaceful. My mum had no fear and she even told me my daughter would have a baby son and that it would help me with my grief. My mum was my best friend , she passed away in the feb and sure enough my daughter was pregnant in the September that year and did go

on to have a son so I get comfort now in all the memories I made and the conversations we had and even her insights in to my future. I feel her with me all the time and my dad too. My dad was 56 when he passed in 2006 and my mum was 66 in feb 2917. My advice is don’t worry about how long he has left just live every day and talk as much as you can. Dad will reassure you and you will reassure him. It will all come naturally and you willl be stronger than you think xx

you are so brave and your story is beautiful, I hope I can be as strong as you are one day. Xx

hi Laurem

you will all be strong together. Every passing day you will get stronger.  Keep in touch xx

Don't worry about the tears, they will just come, allow them.  Hugs hun xx