Hi Denise, you're body isn't shutting down its more you're stressed out your not sure what to do next we all get stressed out its mainly waiting for things to happen wishing treatment had finished the waiting was over, even when it's all finished you'll probably feel differently from now hopefully others will join you soon to talk best wishes.

Billy 

Hi, Denise, our minds play tricks on us, stress can make you tired, it's hard waiting but once you know the outcome you can process it better we always think the worst. Don't let this beat you, positive thoughts and squishy hugs coming your way xx

Hi

Firstly i like to say I was diagnosed 25th June 2019 and it almost felt I was in a slow motion movie as I was being told by my consultant.  I am healthy don't smoke or drink. What your going through now having less energy is what I am expecting at this moment in time.  It's your body finally accepting what you have . Your not lazy or going mad it's the fact now we have to come to terms with slowing down and having more rest as I was told that treatment would be full on and we wouldnt be as strong as before for a while.

Some days I feel light as a kite and act normal with my friends and children but when they have gone away or busy. Reality hits you and you feel low and scared. I find I have to do painting or colouring in for my mind and it calms me but dosent get rid of the problem Breast Cancer. My child reminds me that we gonna fight it that makes feel better.

I'm doing my colouring as we speak, very calming and theraputic highly recommended xxx

You get lost in it, great distraction, until the real world strikes again positive thoughts and squishy hugs coming your way xx

Thank you for your kind message.I don't know what to do.I am thinking to refuse treatment because I can't cope with the fact that I will be on the chemo nonstop,I won't be able travel,I will be sick or disabled.I just can't.For me to come to get the officially diagnosis it's a death penalty.And they will tell you anyway that you will live only 2 years or anyway the treatment stops working.My husband is upset about it.We have planned to have a baby now it's all gone even my life.I don't know even how to wake up anymore.

I am getting so fed up with everything.I am even thinking to go to Switzerland to the clinic.Just can't absorb it.I had the lung biopsy which was awful and painful.I said I don't want to suffer anymore.

Don't you want to stop with your husband, people on here are having all sorts of treatment, and it's not nice but it can make you better, don't you want that,.. 

Billy 

I know people have all sorts of treatment and they are brave.I don't know how they are doing it.To spent all time in hospital 24/7. I don't find anything enjoyable after this diagnosis.Things I liked can't do anymore or won't be able do anymore and I feel I will be just a burden for my husband.I don't cope with the pain from needles either or waiting for scans either.My anxiety doubled now.And there is no help.

Hay Denise...

Now deep breaths lass .. we are all going on our cancer journey.. and none of us knows if well be here tomoz or some date in the future ... we all have it sitting on our shoulders ..

You are 42 ... do you really want to give up without a fight .. yes your partner isn't being very supportive .. but just maybe he doesn't know what to do, and is scared like you ..but your both hurting separately..  when you should both be holding on together ...

I made my will out... planned my funeral ... I had a grade 3 breast cancer ..and nearly gave up like you want to .. but somewhere deep inside , after I cryed for 2 days solid ... I thought enough is enough .. and I'm not going down without a fight ... so I put on a pair of vertual boxing gloves and got in the ring... looked cancer in the eye .. and got ready to punch it back ...

If I'd have given in, I wouldn't be here 2 years down the line, and o.k .. I've packed lots of memories in these 2 years .. coz no one healthy or not knows if they have tomorrow... cancer wants you to give up .. give in .. think it's over .. well  come join the rest of us in the boxing ring ... it's not easy .. but even Billy with his diagnosis, isn't giving in .. he's fighting every day .. 

War all here .. well all support you.. but you've got to want to try .. and reach out .. and get those boxing gloves on ..together wer strong ... and you don't even know .. you said in the thread .. you don't want to die yet .. so hold on .. fight like the rest of us .. really talk with your partner .. find out how he feels .. because it's just as hard caring as going through it ..

You can call the Samaritans 24 / 7 to talk to someone .. or Monday ring McMillan or our lovely nurses .. their number is on the home page .. 

Everyone's sending you positive vibes .. hold on to them .. and one of our cancer lasses who has been through cancer treatment is expecting a baby soon .. miricals do happen .. sending you a vertual hug...

Chrissie xx