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Worried sick

Tomtom80
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Hi I’m new to this but I needed to chat to someone because I can’t cope with it anymore.

i have been diagnosed with VIN and due to have surgery next month.

i am 39 and petrified I’ve got no one to talk to I have a partner and being horrible to him because I’m hiding behind drink I went mad last night and have ruined my relationship.

im scared of having surgery, I’m scared having surgery won’t cure it I’m terrified I’m going to die Imy head is a mess.

im worried what my Vulva will look like after surgery because it’s not going to be semetrical I’m worried that I will be abnormal and no one will want me and I won’t be feminine anymore.

im not going to touch drink anymore because it’s making me turn into someone I don’t like or want to see again!

 

  • Hi Tomtom80,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. Just to say first off that this is a very welcoming community and we're always happy to listen, so do feel free to voice your worries and concerns here anytime. It can be helpful to write down your feelings and can sometimes help with processing things.

    Your worries are of course perfectly natural and we often have a tendency to think about worst case scenarios or to dwell on the negatives or 'what ifs'.

    Try to trust in the medical team and in the path forward that you're on. If you have questions or concerns about the surgery or anything else, try to write them down and discuss them with your doctor ahead of the surgery.

    In terms of your partner, I can't really advise too well but it sounds sensible that you're recognising the drink isn't helping, and I'm sure staying away from it a bit will be helpful. Hopefully your partner understands what you're going through and hopefully you're able to talk to your partner about it if you feel you'd like to.

    Do feel free to let us know how you get on, if you would like to of course.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben

    Cancer Chat Moderator

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