Searching for some strength

Hi All.

Found just over a week ago my Mum has Ovarian cancer, she went into hospital for something else to be diganosed with this, it has hit me very hard and I am still trying to get my head around this, she is waiting to get a date for Hysterectomy to remove it all but its all the waiting around not knowing and what to expect, I am trying to be strong for her and my Dad but have never had to deal with antything like this before.

I was hoping to read some stories on here from other family memebers in this positons.

Regards

Sarah 

  • Hi there ... and welcome to our little chat room...

    I'm sorry I can't help much as I'm a Brest cancer lass ... but I've tagged [@Sundial]‍  ‍  who may be able to help with a few of your questions ... 

    Hold on ... there's lots of us getting cancer and going through treatments ... it has come a long way ...

    Chrissie xx

  • Hi Chrissie

    Thanks for coming back to me, I know your so right ans thats what I keep telling myself, I think its as all you hear is the negitive side of cancer not all the people who have come through it x

  • Hi ...

    I had a grade 3 breast cancer ... kept it under raps for 2 years for personal reasons ... so it got picked up on a chest x ray .. so I'd thought my time was truly up .. 

    I had a masectomy in July 2017 and just preyed for the summer holidays to be with my granddaughter..  to cut a long story short .. i got that .. then i got last years summer holiday with her .. now im looking forward to this years too ... whod have thought it ...

    So I must admit l had a couple of days locked away and cryed / yelled / done the what ifs .. so did my grown son .. then my daughter in law sat us down and said no more panicking ... no more what ifs.. well take every problem as and when it comes up ... the best advice I ever got .. she came to my mamorgramme and biopsy ... holding my hand ... and her and my son were there with me through my masectomy... my son's face as I came out of it, was priceless ..

    You see you have to get out feelings .. holding them in helps no one .. then get your mum a pair of vertual  boxing gloves ... and help her get in the ring for the fight of her life .. it's deff not a walk in the park, but it is doable... cancer wants us to lay down and never get up... well when you admit to your mum your both scared and share tears and hugs and then get in the ring .. there's loads of us in there .. all trying to kick cancers butt... strength in us scare cancer .. 

    But it is a rollercoaster ride too .. one that straps us in and zooms us off ... and we don't know where or when it will stop .. but hold on tight .. and with you by her side... well that's what we all need .. a hand to hold ... I'm doing fine now, and even booked Disney in Florida for next Feb with son and family ... never thought I'd ever get that ... fingers crossed .. lol ... 

    I know [@Sundial]‍  pops on every so often ... she's had Simerla and come through ... Chrissie xx

  • Hi

    Welcome even though I know you don’t want to be here. I was diagnosed with womb cancer in April 2018  and got my all clear in April this year. I had a total keyhole hysterectomy plus ovaries and tubes removed in May 2018. Although your mum’s and my circumstances are different the surgery will be similar so if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m on here regularly and will always answer.

    So it’s a shock. That goes without saying. The waiting is always the worst but once you know what and when things will happen it does get easier as you have a goal to work towards. I know from personal experience how important a daughters support is. My daughter was my rock. I know she was shocked and worried as I’m sure you are but she bravely put that aside and was very down to earth about everything. She often said and still says to me...it is what it is and we’ll deal with it together. I am certain you and your mum can face this together. But when it gets tough there are lots of people on here who will always listen whether you want to ask questions, cry or just rant against the world. So come here anything for support. It’ll always be here.

    Sending you a virtual squeeze from my hand to yours. And don’t forget that in supporting your mum and dad, don’t forget to look after yourself.

    Sundial

  • Hi Sundial,

    Thank you for you kind message, I am aways there for my parents and trying to be strong, got a call from them today as the hopsital called them back in after the bone density scan as Modules are showing up which they think is strange for Ovarian cancer, they are not sure what cancer it is know as her bloods are all coming back clear. 

    My head is all over the place as only 3 weeks ago they aere telling is the lump is 5cm big on her ovaries. The need to do a Biopsies to try and work this out as they said this os very strange ( does not give you much hope in the NHS when you hear this.

    If I can help you or you need a chat, please message away x

  • Hi

    I can imagine how confused you are. They too must be mystified by the results which they didn’t expect. Have faith. In my experience the doctors at my hospital were brilliant both the gynaecologist and the oncologist. Sometimes things are thrown up unexpectedly. In my case histology after surgery upgraded my cancer from 1 to 3. It put us all in a spin. They wanted to go the whole hog with 25 sessions of radiotherapy and also chemotherapy. I asked them if there was any other route and chose to have further major surgery to remove lymph nodes, twelve weeks after the first op. Fortunatey the nodes were clear and I didn’t need the radical treatment, They can only go on the information they have. They’re doing lots of tests to make sure they get it right. I know it’s frustrating and the waiting is dreadful. It’s good that you are there and staying strong for your mum. Brilliant! Give the doctors a chance but ask questions you want answers for. They are there to help and answer your questions. With your mums permission you can go to appts with her , armed with a list of questions and a pen to write down the answers. That’s what my daughter did. 

    Thinking of you and hoping things are sorted soon.

    Sundial

  • Hi Sara 

    Firstly bless you hun you must be going through the mill at the moment and my heart goes out to you x. 

    I have just come out of the other side of Ovarian cancer so thought I would post and hopefully help.

    I too went for an ultrasound and was hit with the biggest blow of my life. 

    Do they know what stage its at? I'll be honest I have been exceptionally lucky in that all mine was removed by operation and I don't need any further treatment just follow ups for 5 years. 

    I agree the worst is the waiting, in my case they weren't 100% they were dealing with cancer until after the hysterectomy so I had the added worry about whether I was having unnecessary surgery if it turned out to be benign. 

    The hospitals are very good, if you need to talk to them they are there to listen and answer questions. 

    I hope your mum isn't waiting too long for her operation. I'll be honest it's no picnic. Three weeks post op and I'm still sore, wondering what's actually left inside and more wondering why they couldn't have given me a tummy tuck whilst they were at it! Lol. 

    My advice is get in touch with the hospital and chat through everything and may be able to give you a date as well. They often know or at least they did when I called and asked them that very question. Hopefully this will give you all something to focus on. 

    My second advice is to take in some cup a soups your mum won't feel like eating at all. Oh and peppermint tea, or cordial would be an absolute godsend. No one told me to and above all this is the advice I wish I'd have received. The pain from the gas used in surgery is something else and this DEFINATELY helps and I can't stress this enough. 

    Lastly and its not easy I'll admit, take each day as it comes. 

    The best of luck and all my love, hugs and positive thoughts sending your way. 

    Xxxx

     

  • Thanks ladies for your lovely messages, 3 weeks ago they 100% said it was Oviain cancer until yesterday when they got her bone scan back, the pulling her in next week for a biopsy to work out what’s treatment is best.

    it really helps to chat to you ladies who have been though this, I am a 47 year old women but have never had to deal with anything like this before. I want to be strong for my parents and trying to hold it all in at the same time.

     

    thanks again ladies and will keep up I posted x 

  • You are very welcome.

    Thinking of you.

    Sundial