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Pancreatic cancer journey

laurel321
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hi,

my father in law has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer this week and it feels like we are in a living nightmare. My husband is devastated, his dad is only 60, he’s his best friend and retired 2 weeks ago.

i saw him for the first time in 3 weeks today and I was shocked at how he’d gone from the big chatty joking man I once knew, to the gaunt, jaundiced and quiet man I saw today.

we are waiting for him to go in for his biopsy this week and then to start chemo at some point, he has ‘splotches’ on the scan on his liver, in my mind I think this means it must’ve spread.

he hasn’t eaten in 3 weeks and he’s in quite a bit of pain and he falls asleep after speaking for a few minutes, his voice is so tiny now.

im just wondering, is it the usual that people get so ill so fast? Has anyone seen their loved one improve after such a rapid decline? When would we find out how long he has or if he could be cured?

My husband keeps asking if I think he will live? And to be honest from today, I just can’t see how he will live to see July. My heart is breaking, my husband is the most positive person I know, and I can’t stand to see him cry.

to make things worse we are going on holiday in 3 weeks and my father in law will be furious if we don’t go. 

I’ve cried to myself quite a few times and I feel i am really struggling as this is my worst nightmare to happen to my own parents, but I know I need to be strong for my husband. I’m not even sure why I’m here, I just needed to write it down. 

 

Laurel 

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    Hi Laurel, I am so sorry you are going through such a tough time with all this at the moment. I don't know your father in laws situation, apart from what you have said but I do know about my mum who had this and I can tell you what I know about that. You will all have lots of questions and will have to speak to the Dr about it all, and the sooner the better, but I think with cancers, they don't hang around.

    My mum was diagnosed with it after becoming jaundiced, she had chemo to give her longer and alleviate symptoms and it did just that. If we had to go through it again, we would do the same thing.She coped well with the chemo, no problems really. My mum was older than your father in law though, so it may be different. They may be able to try and cure it, think that usually involves surgery, or treat it- meaning to alleviate symptoms and give him longer.

    My mum did 'pick up' and lived for 8 months after diagnosis-hard to hear I know and i hope i am not upsetting you but I am being honest, as the drs will be with you. My mum had weekly chemo and she was well...ish, had good and bad days then obviously became unwell until the end.

    I do hope you all have a better prognosis and as I say-my mum was a lot older than your father in law. It's a hard time, waiting as you will worry, but coming on here lets you talk and gives you some control I guess, I found it helpful anyway. Good luck and take care of yourself and hopefully he will improve how he is physically now. Joy x

     

     

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