Hello 

My first post. I don’t know where to start. Mum Mum is 65 and hasn’t been unwell other than a bad back and some stomach aches. Just over a week ago my dad had to call her an ambulance as she was struggling to breathe.   We got to hospital and after much waiting and a few CT scans we were floored with the news she had stage 4 lung cancer spread to her kidneys, lymph nodes, back, and other possible areas. Also she was being treated for Pancreatitis. She took the news face on and swore to fight it. But after a week of waiting for a bronchoscopy she massively declined. Each day she became weaker, more confused and less able to stand etc. Sleeping mostly. She’s lost all ability to communicate with us now. . Shes on a constant flow of morphine and we’ve been told she will die probably within Days. This has been a massive shock to me my dad and  my sister we are literally struggling to come to terms with it. We honestly thought worse case she’d have a stomach ulcer. They’ve said it’s probably innher brain now which is why she’s like this  

I don’t know what to do. I can’t connect the dots and make this real. My poor mum would Be totally mortified, she’s lost all control.  When she has moments of being awake she pulls her canular out, pulls her clothes off. She’s not my mum. What is happening ? I don’t know how to process this? I want her suffering to Be over but mostly I want my mum back x