Feeling helpless

My mum was diganosed with small cell lung cancer with mestases in the liver 2 months ago.  She has started Chemo and so far has had three sessions.  She is only being given one type (carboplatin) and we are only there for an hour whilst others around us are there for hours.  The day before the last session the hospital rang and asked to change the appointment from 2.30 to 4.30 as "you only have a silly little one".  This has played on mums mind and she now thinks that she is being given just a placebo as she has not had any real side effects.  When I last spoke to the consultant he explained that because of mums liver she would not be able to process 2 types of chemo and that the one would be just as good, but she has been upset by this and I feel I need to say something.  At the time of her diagnosis the consultant gave her "weeks" without chemo and "less than a year" with chemo and I feel that it is this that is playing on her mind.  I am so sad for her and my dad believes she will get better which is sad too.

Apologies to anyone reading this, but this is the first time I have said all this out loud, but do you think I should make a complaint about the person who changed the appointment, I would hate for her to be flippant with anyone else.

  • Hi there and welcome to the forum.  Bearing in mind that this is just my point of view; I think I would make a few enquiries first.    I would ask the oncologist to explain and/or give reassurance about your mum's medication and the prognosis.  Bear in mind it is very difficult to give a meaningful prognosis as patients with exactly the same situations can vary a lot (sorry to say that I have seen too many variations amongst friends and loved ones with cancer).  Crass as the person who made the "silly little one" comment is I in no way read this as saying that a placebo is being given.    Bear in mind that your mum has to continue her treatment at this hospital; I would want to be sure of all the facts before making a decision about a complaint.  It is not uncommon for patients - and their loved ones - to worry about the quality/quantity of their treatment; sadly it goes with the situation.    I am not suggesting that what was said was not very inconsiderate but you want to be clear about everything relevant to your mum's treatment  before  you dive in and complain.  Best wishes to you and your family.  Annie

  • Thanks Annie,

    Just writing it all down made me feel better x I wont be

    making a complaint, as it wasnt said to me and as you say mum has to still attend.

    thanks for taking the time to listen, much appreciatef

  • Hello, I was given weeks without treatment for my incurable cancer and I am still here nearly a year later. I am in remission and making a new life for my self. Please keep hope for your mum, stay positive for her and make good memories not sad ones. 

    I would try and encourage your mum to speak with someone who knows her case and hopefully they can alleviate her fears. As for the lady who made the comment. She won’t of meant any harm, but a quiet word with her, may help her to recognise her error.

    I hope this helps