Ive just been diagnosed I cant take it in.. what do you say to people if you cant process yourself.. im so scared Ive just buried my sister who died from Cancer how after such a bad run of misery can I put more on them.. 

I know what you mean, my poor husband just lost his Dad recently and we have now moved house with his Mum as she has advanced Altzimers. I know he was up all last night worrying about me (I drank a bottle of Baileys and slept)

I'm so worried about how we are now going to cope with his Mum and we moved out of the city so don't know anyone close by.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and I think this site will help us through this. I had no idea this affected so many women.

I am sorry to hear your story.  I think you should share 

This news with someone you trust- it's too much to

Take on your own

I just have taken care of my husband for 13 months 

With stage 4 lung cancer- spread everywhere we tried all treatments available available- he died November 24th

Now I have just been through 2 mammograms and ultra 

Sound and 2 lumps found in my right breast.I have a 

Scheduled biopsies booked for April Ist -monday- a d

Really Scared without my husband here type of help.

Me- he was an optimist and he would be telling me

Right now not to worry

Everything is going wrong my back disc  ruptured 2 weeks ago now this

But writing in a journal every evening has definitely

Helped a lot- I will be thinking about you on your 

Own journey..love and hugs x Barbara

Hi Velvetchain,

I am so sorry to hear how you feel at the moment. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and must confess that I felt pretty similar to how you feel, especially the first time. I wandered around in a daze of disbelief for quite a few days. I was given a folder about breast cancer, which I had to give to my husband, as it felt like a placard declaring to the world that I had cancer.

Like you, I couldn't think of any questions at the time, but you may find it easier to sit down with your hubby before your next appointment and draw up a list between you both. I now do this for every appointment.

I note that you are having a difficult time with your family committments. You sometimes wonder how much life can throw at you at any one time. We have had four years of nursing my mother-in-law at home, until she died last October, my hubby was diagnosed with heart failure 1½ years ago and had several hospital stays last year, then my father-in-law died in February this year, six days after being diagnosed with cancer. They say that stress can cause cancer and, I certainly believe that.

Moving house is always quite traumatic. Do you have any support with your mother-in-law? Looking after someone with severe Alzheimers can be extremely wearing, as you are on duty 24/7 with no let up. We eventually got a social worker involved and, mum got a hospital bed delivered to the house and carers coming in 4 times a day to see to her personal needs. This was all arranged on a Friday and, in place by the Monday and, it didn't cost us a penny. We really are so lucky to live in the UK.

You will find that you really do need someone who you can confide in and talk openly to. Ideally, you also need someone to accompany you to your appointments. It is all too easy to forget what is said at a consultation and this is where 2 heads are better than 1. I would strongly advise you to take someone with you when you return for your results. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel yet?

I shall be thinking of you next Friday and hope that things are not as bleak as you have led yourself to believe.

Please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Barbara,

I am so sorry to hear of all that you have been through with your husband and, offer my sincere condolences on his passing.

To now have to face this all over again seems so unfair.It will be extremely difficult to get through all this on your own. Do you have any family or friends who can accompany you to your appointments? This makes a huge difference, especially when you are going for test results.

I hope that you are not in too much pain with your back now? It sounds as if everything is hitting you whilst you're down! There will be brighter days ahead.

This stage of the cancer journey is always a scary one. There are so many unknowns around. It does get easier once you get a diagnosis and grading and know what surgery or treatment lies ahead.

Do please share your results with us after you get them. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx