Hello Rina; I am sorry to learn of your partner's cancer diagnosis (where is the primary cancer?  I mainly ask because others on this forum may be able to relate to your situation).  Welcome to the forum.  You need to talk to the doctor caring for your partner about the plans for care and treatment that is being planned by the NHS.  Do this first so you have some idea about the planned course of action - they will be bound to provide treatment for easing his situation and maybe extending his life as appropriate and wanted.  For instance is it that your partner will be cared for at home - not knowing your own situation it is difficult to know how feasible this is going to be.  When you get a bearing on planned actions you could ring either MacMillan (0808 808 0000) or Marie Curie (0800 090 2309) and explain your situation to them; they may be able to give you help with care if you cannot provide it yourself full-time.  There are other things that need to be considered - for instance finances - and this can also be discussed so you know to what you are entitled.  Remember that these charities are very knowledgeable about all things that cancer affects in your lives so don't be afraid to contact them.  Also, please do return here any time you have any questions, whether about practical matters or how you are your son are coping or indeed anything that would help you.  Best wishes.  Annie

Hi thanks for replying,The situation maybe a bit more confused because we paid privately for an initial consultation with a gastroenterologist,since the nhs appointment was a 4 month wait,who has since transferred us back to nhs upon discovering oseophagal cancer.Yesterday the doctor we saw we had never met before, he was with an upper gi nurse who I’ve actually contacted this morning because my parter was being sick all night, I asked the question “are we on the cancer  pathway now” she just replied she was getting round to getting us an appointment for the scan first.My partner is 40 years old and we have 3 children 1 living away at uni.Obviously my partner is in a state of disbelief as he was living a normal life just 5 weeks ago at work, etc.I would appreciate any advice on staying positive and keeping him positive, thank you.

Hi I'm so sorry you're partner has cancer every person on here has it ln one form or another you don't say were the C is alot of people have it in more than one place me for eg prostate, lymph nodes, spine ribs, pelvis, I did have it on one lung (kemo cleared the lung) it's not curable I just had to live with it and have kemo every now and again to slow it down I've had it over 4 years now without treatment I would not be here now (Im no worse now than 3 years ago) treatment does work just give it a chance. Best of luck.

Billy

P.s they found C early Feb started kemo end of June they don't hurry.. 

hi there

i completely understand how you feel. I was diagnosed with oesophagus cancer 3 weeks ago to be told last week  it hasn’t spread from the pet scan. Yesterday I had a call to say it’s spread and this was overlooked last week. To say I’m devastated is an understatement. I’m a mum to a 5 and 8 year old who live with me. The waiting around is the worse but I can’t fault the nhs as they have been super quick. I find out tomorrow what the next steps are as it’s obviously incurable. I’m trying hard to keep positive but it is very hard. Very hard on my family. 

Hope is all I have left. 

Hi the only thing is to keep going no matter what find things to do occupy as much time as possible (where() I know it's spelt wrong,, you're self out so you sleep I've been doing it for ages now it does work. I know you will still think about it & you will worry about it but consontrate on other things it does help, best of luck.

Billy 

Hi again.  I am attaching a link to Coping with Cancer from this website which may be of use.  Generally I would say don't let it take over your lives.  Talk about and where possible do the things that you and your partner enjoyed before the diagnosis; don't let cancer take over your hearts and minds as well as bits of your partner's body.  You are still the same people even though it has become a bit more difficult now (to say the least).  I am so impressed by some of the posters here who are determined to live something like normality despite fighting side effects and weakness.  I am not sure if I could be as strong but it is something to go for where possible.  Annie

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../coping