Hello AT2.  Welcome to the forum.  In the thirteen months since I started posting here I have read that this has happened several times.  And there does not seem to be a lot you can do.  He may want to concentrate his energies on his mother's care; he may be feeling that he has not given enough care to his mum in the past.    He may change his mind but you can only wait and see.  Do you know his mum?    I only ask because if not (or not very well) he may not want to introduce you into a difficult family situation at this time.  I realise this must be hard for you as you had thought you were progressing in a good relationship.  Strangely on the other posts about this I think it has always been a man who has pulled back in this situation and nobody seemed to have a clue what to do either.  I am so sorry.  Annie

Hi Annie 

Thank you for your reply. I have only met her once briefly. I understand that he feels like he can't cope with a relationship right now. It's difficult for me because I have my eyes wide open and am prepared for how hard it will become, to the point of the practicalities of potential hospital stays as I live in the city and his father could stay at my house if such a time as that may happen. I know what he will face in the coming years and I had intended to deal with as much of the practicalities so he could focus on his mother emotionally without the extra stress. I hope he realises I'm prepared to support him so he can support his parents. 

Thank you x

I do hope that he changes his mind and realises what an asset you could be to him.  Some men don't always tell the full story whereas we generally (but of course there are some exceptions) say what we are thinking and feeling.  When you feel you are not getting the full story it is difficult to know what to do.  It is  hard to just have to wait and see.  Best wishes to you.  Annie

Hi AT2. . I've been reading your post and you must feel very confused. . There are so many chords attached to your bf and his mum's diagnosis .. None of which I believe are personal against you.  In the slightest. . I adore my grandson he is the light of my life. Yet. . When mum was diagnosed I can't begin to explain the feelings of protection. . Dedication and sense of time limited to name but a few and the fear and possibility that this may not end well. The anguish daily and the joy my grandson brings was such a huge contrast I couldn't jump from one to the other. I wasn't available to return the sweetness this child brought in because I was spun out with all that this disease was bringing and threatening my mum's life and mine as I knew it. . So I became only available to my mums needs  (my choice NOT mums ) because I had to be present. . Copus mentis and prepared. . I couldn't afford the fluffy lovely feeling of anything other than what I was faced with. . This is so not personal and it by no means is easy either. . Maybe this is a chance to offer your bf the hand that we all crave for in such  scary and unfamiliar territory and throw out the hand of unconditional friendship.  Pure plutonic offerings of help in the way of which you describe and patience to just be if needed may secure a lifelong bond and result in a Happy ever after. . I pray foryour bf his mum and immediate family and for you. . God bless x