Melanoma at 25

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed yesterday with Stage 2 Melanoma, but the doctor's are still not 100% certain of what it is due to the thickness and colour of the mole.

I went to the doctor's as soon as I saw my mole change, but I had really convinced myself that I was making a fuss and that it would be nothing.

After being diagnosed, I spent the rest of yesterday reassuring my husband and family that it would all be fine but now I'm left to my own thoughts I really am panicking!

Does anyone have any advice about getting over this initial panic and how to deal with going back to work without it affecting you all day?

Thanks for your help and time,

Izzy0408

  • Hello Izzy0408 and welcome.  I don't have any experience of melanoma but hope you will soon hear from people who have.  In the meantime I don't know if you have seen the support website specifically for melanoma so am attaching a link.  Just wanted to welcome you really.  Annie

    https://www.melanomauk.org.uk/

  • Hi Izzy0408,

    OK, deep breaths first. Before thinking about anything else you need to find a way that works for you for tackling the feeling of panic & anxiety when it rises. I personally play a CD that I got from a lovely lady that teaches meditation at our local cancer hospital. Get hold of a soothing meditation or mindfulness CD or try yoga. Once you can fight the rising panic you can then deal with things one at a time as they arise. 

    I don't know what type of work you do or how well you get on with your colleagues and supervisor but I found it was best to ask for a quiet word with my supervisor & explain the diagnosis & that being back at work & in a normal routine will be good but that there may the odd time when some personal 'time out' may be needed to deal with the panic & anxiety. Tell them as much, or as little, as you want to share and the same goes for colleagues. I found that my supervisor & one close colleague was enough to share my news with as you still want to maintain some privacy.

    Keeping busy at work & at home also helps to distract from the anxiety. If you have a Macmillan or Maggies centre near you check them out as they are great for counselling or massage therapy etc to help calm you. Also, you should have been given the details of a Specialist Cancer Nurse as your first point of contact if you have any worries before your next appointment. Give them a ring if there is anything that wasn't explained or that you want to go over.

    It will get better, day by day, so be kind to yourself & give yourself time to deal with this. I always remember my consultant's words when I was diagnosed with a recurrence of melanoma 9 years ago 'It's not the end of the world, great strides are being made in treatment' and she was so true, so keep telling yourself that.

    Best wishes,

    Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient)

  • Hi Annie,

    Thank you for your message and the link - I've spent a good time reading through the website and feel like I know a bit more now.

    I really appreciate your time and help!

    Izzy0408

  • Dear Angie,

    Thank you for your lovely message. I am feeling a bit calmer today but it seems it hit me in waves.

    I am speaking to my line managers on Monday, as you have suggested, and think that will make me feel more supported at work. I am a secondary school teacher so unfortunately get little time to myself if I need it, but hopefully having some colleagues know about it will help.

    Thank you for suggesting Macmillan - I have obviously heard of them before but they hadn't crossed my mind when being diagnosed myself!

    I wish you all the best in your own recovery and really appreciate your kind and reassuring message.

    Kind regards,

    Izzy0408

  • It - somewhat belatedly - occured to me that I should have taken a good look at the website myself before sending it to you.  Don't get me wrong  - it is indeed informative but the story of the man whose experience started the website was not very cheering - that is  of course why the website's founders are pushing all the time for better information and treatment.  A lesson to me - put myself in the place of the people to whom I am sending information!  Fortunately - as AngieT has said -- things have moved forward a long way since that was written!

  • Annieliz, 

    Gillian, the founder of the charity, is a friend of mine. She is our Angel in disguise and works wonders in helping patients. Jon's story is heartbreaking but it shows why Gill does this marvellous work and how far things have progressed since that time. You were right to add the link so no apology is needed.

    Angie x

  • hello my husband has just started with the melanoma trail  3 moles removed, two cancerous.scarey times the waves of panic for me are as you descibe (especially at quiet times ).stay positive  we waited all Christmas+new year for testing results  as these tests take a while.gd news in the end as the skin removed around the scar ,was clear !!stay strong you  are young .good luck on this trip