Hi Wintertime,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. Does someone from the family accompany her to her appointments? This can make a big difference to her, especially if she is to get the results of tests.

Has she been allocated a nurse that she can contact if she has any problems? She should be able to suggest something for her constipation as should her GP.

There are a number of different chemos and people seem to react differently to them all. She needs to talk to her oncologist about what they propose to give her and what the side-effects are likely to be. The best thing to do before each appointment is to help her draw up a list of questions for her consultant. I always do this and give my hubby a duplicate copy. He always comes with me and, as I ask the questions, he writes down the answers. Most of us forget a large proportion of the consultation before we leave the hospital grounds, so this prevents any uncertainties.

Has she been given a prognosis, or what makes her think that she only has weeks left? At best, a doctor can only make a 'guesstimate' at how long she has and, many doctors have been way out in their predictions, someties by many years.

As a famiy you can support your mum as much as possible. Try to put a positive slant on things for her. If her cancer is as advanced as she thinks, the chemo may only shrink her tumour and buy her more time, but it may not cure her. Talk to her, tell her how much you love her and will support her. Don't leave anything unsaid.

You might find that talking to a counsellor could help your mum to come to terms with her diagnosis. Her care team may be able to refer her to someone.

She will be tired and nauseous when chemo starts, so any help with cooking, cleaning, ironing and general household duties will be appreciated.

I sincerely hope that she can come to terms with her diagnosis. She may feel a little better once she starts to fight her cancer with treatment.

Please keep in touch and let us know how she is getting on. We are always here for you all.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx