My dad had lung cancer, half a lung removed, a rib, a few rounds of chemo and no recurrence for years. I know it's scary but try not to think the worst, it might all be just fine x

Hi Boowithers,

Welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry for the reason that has prompted you to join. I am soo sorry to hear about your Dad's lung cancerI hope that his next test doesn't show any spread.

My mum had breast cancer for 12 years before it metastasised into her liver, lungs, bone and brain. I have lost many relatives and close friends to cancer and have also had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself. Having experienced it from both sides of the fence, I realise how important it is to put a positive slant on this disease regardless of how good or bad the outlook is.

It is a lonely and scary road that your dad is on and, this is when he really needs the support of his family.

Unfortunately, when cancer affects someone, it affects all of his family. Instead of running around like headless chickens, try to support him and help him to put his affairs in order. There may be people who he wants to see or places that he wants to visit. Can you facilitate this? I know that your heart is breaking, but try not to let him see this. Crying is good for you, as it is a great stress-breaker.

Is he still at home and, if so, have you had to put any contingencies into place for him? With 5 sisters, it should be easy for you to keep him company and to make sure that you don't leave anything unsaid between you all.

His decline will probably be very gradual, so it shouldn't be so hard to deal with, if you are seeing him regularly. Ensure that he is not in pain and, if he is, get his care team to prescribe medication for this.

It is a hard journey for you all, but you will get through it.

Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

My partner of 25 years had lost lung cancer .Stage 4 diagnosed last Easter

He has had radiotherapy and chemotherapy.

Just having a break as the tumor responded well although he has a clot on the lung.

He will never be well again.

We just have to take each day as it comes

I love him to bits and can't bear to think off life with out him.

So I don't

Hi Boowither360, I'm so sorry for your dad's news. I'm on here because today we were told my mom has cancer in her lung, liver and the lymph node in her chest. I'm now reading everything I can on lung cancer and reading every post made by anyone who is posting about lung cancer. My mom is 70. Her and dad haven't said a word about it, I think my dad is in denial. I feel bad for him knowing he's going home to an empty house. My sister lives far away and she doesn't have a clue what's going on, we're waiting until mom has the MRI and bronchoscopy until either mom or dad will phone and tell her. I'm devastated. I suspected something was seriously wrong when I googled her symptoms but they came up as stomach cancer so was shocked with what the consultant said. How are you doing now? Please post back and let us all know, my thoughts are with you x

Dear George,

I notice that nobody has replied to your post, so I thought that I would welcome you to our forum

I am so sorry to hear about the extent of your mom’s cancer. You and your dad must feel devastated. How has your mom reacted to this news and, have the doctors told you why she has been admitted to hospital?

It is not a good idea to Google a lot. Much of the content is out of date or poorly researched and could scare you out of your wits. Try to stick to reputable sites, like this one instead. Your dad’s denial is not unusual. Sadly, he will begin to realise that it is true when he gets home to an empty house.

I lost my mum 21 years ago to secondary breast cancer which had spread to her liver, lungs, brain and bone. At that time they didn’t investigate her lymph nodes, but I expect that if they could have then, her nodes would have also been involved. It was a particularly hard time for all of us and I don’t envy you your journey.

It is always difficult to break such news to a relative who lives far away. You are probably doing the best thing in waiting until after your mom has had the results of her MRI and bronchoscopy, before telling your sister.

You will all need to be strong and positive for your mom. This will make all the difference in how she copes with this disease. Talk to her, try to allay her fears, tell her how much you love her, don’t leave anything unsaid.

Have you been told when she will have her MRI and bronchoscopy? I hope that it is soon because waiting for results is scary, particularly when there are so many unknowns.

I am thinking and praying for you all and, hope that you have the strength to see this through. We are always here for you. Do please let us know how she gets on.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi Jolamine, thank you very much for your reply and so sorry for the loss of your mom. It's a bit confusing at the moment. The doctor today said mom's case is very complex and they have had disputes between the respiratory and radiotherapy team about what test to do. One wants to do a biopsy from the liver, the other from the chest. No bronchoscopy yet or MRI until biopsy done! Hopefully will happen tomorrow. My mood is swinging between crying, and absolute anger. This cancer research site I have found to be very useful with clear information and the forum is great and I think it will be very good to speak to other people in similar situations. Thank you very much for your support, I hope you had as much support when you lost your mom? I will hopefully post updates as they happen, they said mom might be able to go home for a bit after they've done their tests and they can get together to decide what to do, she will look forward to that and I'm sure dad will too! They are handling this better than I am, at least when around people. I'm falling apart all the time. Thank you again all and Jolamine, best wishes x

Hi George,

It is always more difficult to cope with complex cases and, it can be difficult to decide which tests to do. I hope that your mom can get her biopsy done tomorrow and move on to her other tests. This site gives good solid information. It is well-researched and helpful. This forum has been a godsend to me, as there are always people who have travelled the same road as me here to give me information, advice, the benefit of their experience and who will happily listen to me rant away on bad days. I’m sure that you will get great support from this.

I do hope that your mom gets home after her tests and, I am sure that both of your parents will be delighted for this to happen. I am glad to hear that they are both staying strong and positive and hope that this continues. It would be such a help to them both if you could find some positivity about this too. Your mom needs someone who she can talk to openly about her feelings, someone who can guide her through. You really need to be the strong person.

The way you feel is perfectly normal. A lot of us feel anger and cry a lot. Crying is not a bad thing, as it is a good stress reliever. Have you ever considered having counselling? It is not for everyone, but it helps many. The other thing that you may find helpful is to have a chat with your GP and see if he will prescribe a mild anti-depressant. Many don’t want to go down this route, but it makes a big difference. If you feel better in yourself, you will be better placed to help your mom.

The best thing that you can do is to try and make memories with your mom. Talk to her openly – don’t leave anything unsaid, tell her how much you love her, try to allay any fears she has, make sure that she is as comfortable as possible, Make sure that her pain is well controlled. Are there any places or people she wants to see? Perhaps you could organise this?

I hope that your mom can soon move on to her other tests and you can all move on to treatment.

I look forward to your updates.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx