I am so very sorry that you find yourself in this position. I am not a doctor and although my partner has lung cancer, I have no experience of bone cancer but I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.

For what its worth, my belief and previous experience with other life threatening illnesses is that no-one needs to be in unbearable pain in the 21st century. I would try to get back in touch with the hospital.

We have a saying up here- 'Shy bairns get nowt.' I'm not sure what contacts you have but you might need to be a bit persistent until he gets his own specialist cancer nurses. We have found these nurses to be absolutely brilliant-no query too small, nothing too much trouble.

Hopefully, someone will be along soon with some more targeted advice.

Good luck, love 

Hi Needtotalk0,

I am so sorry to hear about your dad's cancer. I have lost many relatives and close friends to cancer and have had 2 bouts myself in the past 9 years, so sadly am not a stranger to this disease. My mum had primary breast cancer for 12 years before she developed secondary cancer. By this time, she had it in her brain, bones, liver and lungs.

The pain was controllable, but at a cost. By increasing her medication she slept a lot more. I know that this can increase at end of life, but the increase in medication certainly added to this. Have you got a date for his PET scan yet?

It is a hard road that you are travelling. If I can help you with any of your questions, please fire away.

We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello again,

Treatment for cancer starts fairly quickly after diagnosis, but seldom within the first week. It sounds as if you were expecting your dad to have started treatment by now. If there is still some uncertainty about the extent of his cancer, no treatment can be arranged until his care team knows the exact extent of his cancer. The delay you are experiencing seems to be because your care team is still trying to determine his precise diagnosis.

Some cancers are straightforward to diagnose, but others take a little longer. This is not a waste of time, as it is important to determine this, before they can get the best treatment for your dad. You cannot start to treat a cancer until you know exactly what type of cancer you are dealing with. You do not say what age your dad is and it sounds as if he is already very frail. This can also have an impact on treatment, so there are many considerations for his care team before treatment can begin.

Since the results of some of his tests have come back, there will already have been meetings between his MDT (Multi-discipinary team) to discuss the best way forward, so please don't despair, as things are moving forward.

I hope that all goes well with his PET scan tomorrow.

Please keep in touch and let us know how your dad gets on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx