Hello Daisyhil and welcome to the forum. Let me say straight away that I have not had cancer myself but have cared for family and relatives who have. I was very concerned and saddened by how you are feeling as a result of your diagnosis but am so pleased you have come here. This forum has a lot of ladies who have gone through a breast cancer diagnosis, treatment and are here to tell the tale and who will support you. (I only answered you because I was probably the first person to see your post and wanted to give you some assurance that help is at hand.) I totally understand that hearing the word cancer is an awful moment and would ask that you talk to your medical team about your feelings, Also the telephone number of the Samaritans is Freefone 116 123; ring them if you are having these horrible thoughts. You will get through this and we are happy to help if you will let us. I also hope you have people in your life to help you, both for your own sake and for those of your children who I am sure you love dearly. Let us help you. You will shortly hear from others who have been where you are. Big hugs (and I don't often hug anyone!) Annie
A cancer diagnosis is a massive thing to cope with and many of us are absolutely terrified at first, especially when we have young children who are dependent on us. I have lost my mum, dad, several relatives and close friends to cancer and have had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 8 years. Things have changed so much since I cared for my mum with cancer 21 years ago. There is just no comparison between the treatment and aftercare that I have had and that which my mum received. Our friends in Cancer Research are constantly striving to improve our odds and, many people are now living with cancer, rather than dying with it.
We all tend to think the worst when we get a cancer diagnosis, but, if I remember correctly you are not due to get your results until Monday. I replied to your other post in the early hours of this morning.. Fortunately, things are not as bad as they seem and, once you know exactly what you are dealing with and, you start doing something about it, it doesn’t seem so bad.
Give yourself a few weeks to come to terms with this and you'll be ready to get those boxing gloves on and fight this all the way.
What ages are your children? Remember that they still need you and anything good is worth fighting for. I would fight my way to the moon and back to protect my 2. You are at the worst possible stage just now when there are so many unknowns. It is a scary time. Many of us find ourselves crying copiously. This isn’t as bad as it seems, as crying is good for reducing stress. We also find our emotions all over the place, with a plethora of different feelings throughout a day.
I personally experienced this at first and, ended up upsetting my daughter to the stage where she wouldn’t speak to me. She thought that I blamed her for my diagnosis, which was so far away from the truth and totally ridiculous. This was so upsetting, as we had always been very close up to then. Happily, we are now back to normal, but it there was anything that could have made me suicidal that was it. My family is everything to me.
Please try to hold on until you know what you are dealing with. Annie has given you some good advice. The nurses here can be very helpful, but are only here during the week. Their number is at the bottom of this page. The Samaritans are available 24/7 and, don’t hesitate to call them if you are especially low over the weekend. Have a chat with your consultant on Monday and tell him/her low you feel. They should be able to prescribe a mild anti-depressant until you can come to terms with all of this. The can also arrange for you to see a counsellor, which you might find helpful.
Is your partner supportive or do you have a friend or relative who is? It can be very helpful to have someone to confide your fears to. Can you take someone with you to your appointment on Monday? It is always a good idea to do this and, also to draw up a list of questions for your consultant.
Please do not consider suicide. There are better ways to cope with this. I have found that a positive attitude has helped tremendously. I have come to terms with the fact that I will always have cancer and my life will never be quite the same again, but there is tremendous support on this site and in some of the support groups around the country.
I treasure every day now and make the most of every second I have with my family and friends. I wouldn’t have wished this diagnosis for the world, but I am coping with it and, now appreciate so many things in life that I previously took for granted.
Make the most of the time you have with your family, make memories, so that if the worst should happen with your health you can leave them with memories of a mum who loved them above anything else. Having said that, this is just to ensure that you are covering all bases. I sincerely hope that you will never face such a scenario.
There are many different types and grades of breast cancer. Your outcome will depend upon what your results are. Don’t worry about chemo at the moment, as you may not even need it. My consultant wanted me to have radiotherapy, but due to procedural issues, I never had it. A lot will depend on whether your cancer is HER + or negative (your consultant will explain this to you). If you have a low grade cancer and hormone therapy can help, you may just have radiotherapy and need to take Tamoxifen tablets.
The other statistic that will interest you is that out of every 10 people referred to the breast clinic, only 1 will have breast cancer. If you have been breast feeding until recently, it could be something like mastitis – Fingers crossed!
Don’t forget that we are always here for you. I hope that all goes well for you on Monday.
Receiving the diagnosis is horrible. You hear cancer and that’s it. Everything else stops. Later, if you’re anything like me, your mind starts trying to fill the gaps that you find when you try to recall what happened and doesn’t necessarily get it right.
You are a lot younger than me but as a born again wuss, if I can get thro this, anyone can. Yes, it’s scary, no point in lying about it, but it can be done. There are a lot of us breast cancer types on here, I’m one of them. Ask anything you like, some one will have an answer.
It’s not a death sentence, it can be treated and defeated.
I can see you've received some lovely words of support and advice from some of our members already but I also wanted to stop by to reassure you that what you are feeling at the moment is normal. In fact, many people go through a vast range of emotions when finding out they have cancer but if these two feelings you've mentioned start to get stronger then it would be advisable to speak to someone.
As Annieliz and Jolamine have mentioned Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, which is good to know when the weekend is approaching and during the week your GP is available to talk to as well.
Try to give yourself time to take this on board and remember that you are not alone. Your family and friends love you, especially your little ones and we at Cancer Chat are here for you as well. As you've seen our members understand how you're feeling and what you're about to embark so do keep chatting to us as our community will do all they can to help you on your journey.
Thank you all so much for your kind messages of support, I think it’s the feeling I’m the only one and why me that I can’t get over.
i have a big support network and amazing husband, my two children are my world they are 7 and 3.
I got the diagnosis on Monday and I feel like my world has ended it’s all the waiting and now waiting for scan etc it’s so much to take in.
the thought of chemo is just too much I don’t mind surgery but to loose my hair and I have a phobia of vomiting all my life I just don’t think I can do.
Thank you you all so much for responding it’s been lovely to read ️ Xxxx
My 30 year old daughter who has a rare blood cancer feels depressed all the time I really feel for u and anyone who has cancer it's a cruel horrible disease
What you feel is completely normal. My husband, dealing with aggressive cancer at 30 years old took a good 3 months to make peace with his diagnosis. And depression and anger about it stayed with him for a long time . We are still getting treatment and there are good and bad days. After the first few months, things start falling in place. You and your family find a new nornal and learn to deal better with the disease and treatment. It also makes you cherish every moment more. We also got help from the hospital to deal with the depression and anxiety. Take all the support needed.
Life can throw us some curved balls at times. It is still too early for you to process all this. I am glad to hear that you have such a good support network and to learn that your husband is so supportive.
I'm sorry, I have obviously misread your previous post, as I thought that you were still waiting for your results. What was the outcome and, have you discussed surgery and follow up treatment yet? If you are still waitng for a scan, was there any doubt about your diagnosis.? Have you been given a date for this yet, or are you waiting to be contacted?
Try not to worry about chemo for now. If you really have to have it, there are many different medicaments which will stop any vomiting. If one doesn't work, it's a case of trying another. If you were to lose your hair, look upon it as a badge of honour and, it will grow back again.
All of this is a lot to take in, but you can do it.
Kind regards,
Jolamine xx
Whatever lies ahead of you will make you a stronger person in the end.
