I had the most awful news a few days ago my best friend has terminal cancer and no treatment available I've been through this with my dad he died of terminal cancer 4 years ago worst thing I've had to go through but now my best friend she doesn't want to see me she wants me to remember her how she was I'm broken in 2 I want to respect her wishes as she's very private but I really wanted to see her 1 last time I cannot believe I'm writing this but I don't know how I'm going to cope without her I don't even know how long she has left but I'm guessing not long if treatment is not offered and doctors saying there is nothing they can do for her I want her to know I'm always here and I'd drop everything in a heartbeat to be with her how can I go about this without sounding selfish because I'm not far from it I just want her to know thank you please help me 

I really feel for you but my view is that you need to respect her wishes. Sometimes one of the hardest things is sympathy from others or seeing their distress. Everyone's journey is different.Your situation of losing your friend, especially having been through it with your dad, is very difficult and I understand your longing to help, but your friend is struggling with her own feelings and in this situation, I think you need to prioritise her. If there's a Maggie's near you, they will help you and you will find a lot of support on this forum. My love and understanding to you both. Xx
She may of course change her mind but for now perhaps you need to focus on how you get through this. I assume she has someone caring for her. If so perhaps you could ask them to keep you informed. Your friend may be able to cope with neutral chat eg sport or tv by phone so you could maybe negotiate via her carer. Once she knows you can communicate on this level, she might feel differently. You are clearly a loving and caring person. I'm sure she knows you love her and that you are desperately sad.Try and give her the space to deal with her own sadness. 

I totally understand she knows I'm here if she ever wants me to be and that won't ever change she's my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I cannot ever imagine her being gone it's so difficult in times like this life is so unfair it really is thank you xx

Hi Dave,

Thank you for sharing your experience so openly and honestly.  How are you doing? 
 

Sadly it was a very intense but short 18 months from diagnosis to sadly my mums passing in August 2020. She had chemotherapy therapy at half dose that kept the cancer at bay for a year and a half until June 2020 when the cancer went into overdrive and spread rapidly causing her to have secondary disease impacts. She was the bravest woman I know and I have been devastated at her loss. Cancer is very cruel. 
 

I wish you all the best Dave and thank you again for taking time to answer, I'm sorry I did not get back to you sooner it was all such a shock and whirlwind I feel lost and empty at what happened in the last 2 and half to 3 years. Sending my best wishes to you take care x

You are a wonderful friend and I'm sure she'll be comforted to know you are there if needed. Xx

I've just found out she has days rather than weeks I'm absolutely gutted this is why she didn't want to see me xx

So very sorry to hear this. Stay strong and you will get through this dark time. Xx