I’m so sorry Laura. What a very difficult time. I know it’s a cliche but the only thing you can do is take one day at a time. It’s very natural to feel scared and it’s hard not to go over the what ifs, but the best thing you can do in the middle of the night is try to distract yourself when the thoughts go around in your head. Is there some nice music or a podcast that you can listen to? Have you got people around you who you can talk things over with? Did the doctors provide any details about places you can get support? Sending lots of thoughts your way. 

My partner has just got up for work. I’ve been trying t let him sleep whilst tossing and turning. No the doctor hasn’t said much about anything yet tbh. When my dad died 3 years ago of lung cancer and I couldn’t sleep I found this forum helpful. I just don’t know how I’m going to tell my eldest daughter who has only just really come to terms with losing my dad. I just can’t believe this is happening. 

Bless you Laura , it is always difficult to get this news and much worse I think when you’ve been told bad news but don’t have the full details. I didn’t get any results at the clinic itself, they weren’t sure. When I came back 10 days later they confirmed biopsy results were a Mucinous cancer requiring a mastectomy. At least I felt relieved at this point as I had a diagnosis and plan of action.

Your thoughts and fears are completely natural, not that this helps much, granted. I’ve had a lot of sleepless night - this being another one though mainly due to the 5 year old making an appearance. 

I think it’s human nature to fear the worst, but I can only say what was said to me at diagnosis.  Breast cancer treatments have had so much investment and advanced a lot. Whatever the diagnosis, treatments are available. 

The other advice was to take things one day at a time (as you’ll find on the first post of the thread “the good and the bad” which lots of us breast girls are on - and I’d recommend). There’s so much info to take on and process it is too overwhelming to look at it all, so I’ve found it easiest to focus appointment by appointment, treatment by treatment.

As any of us can attest, waiting for results is the worst. You must do what works for you, whether that’s keeping busy, confiding in friends and family, keeping distracted with the kids (an excellent one for me!), and it is perfectly acceptable to rage and cry.

Telling the kids was one of the first things I worried about and its a very personal choice what to tell them. Mine are 5 and 8. I found some useful books like “mummy’s lump” and the big bag of worries - Virginia Ironside. There was also a really good comic book, medikidz fight breast cancer? Superhero style. Aimed at 8+ But my 5 yo loves it as she’s into superheroes.

In the end telling them went well. We were matter of fact using real words like cancer, lump etc but keeping it simple. One child asked if the new booby would be plastic. The other asked if it would be metal. Then they asked to go to the toy shop and buy a toy! Out of the mouths of babes...

We’re all here for you on this forum so keep us posted and I’ll be thinking of you next Thursday.

Xx

Sorry it took so long to reply with my chemo brain, like wading through treacle. I didn’t see the 2 replies including about your dad. This will naturally make it more difficult news for your eldest. Personally I’m going for an honesty is the best policy approach and encourage them to ask questions and talk about their feelings. The 8 yo keeps a little diary too. Xx

Hi Laura

I wanted to say hi as I too have just been diagnosed this week (on tuesday) and have no idea how I'm going to manage this! I too have children,3 and 6 and I'm only 33.so far I have been trying to keep busy and reassure myself there isn't anything I can do until I get more info about the staging, treatment etc. 

 I hope you get more info next week 

Thanks for the reply! I haven’t been on here for a while! 

Howre you getting on?? 

I had a lumpectomy. They got clear margins but it had spread to one node. So I went into a trial and was chosen not to have the auxillary clearance (POSNOC trial). I am due to start chemo w/c 14th jan.