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How do you deal with the mornings?

Nel88
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Hi guys,

My dad was diagnosed with an advanced head and neck cancer with rapid progression last week. The prognosis isn't great. It's all still very raw and I can't quite believe it's happening. I've also taken time off work to travel to be with them and look after them and support them while he has treatment. I'm finding the mornings really difficult...I wake up and for a few minutes I feel like things are as they were and then it suddenly hits me and I feel like getting the news all over again, then I can't stop millions of thoughts going through my head so I just lay in bed going over things again and again. Just wondering if anyone else gets this and how you deal with it?

I just try and eventually get up and get on with the day but my head is just somewhere else and takes half the day for it to ease off. Also being off work is really hard, I'm used to being busy with work and have never had long term leave like this so I just feel lost for most of the day...I'm scared about what will happen career wise and about returning to work or potentially having to give up my current job and relocating home permanently to look after my parents...They are my priority and I'd do anything for them and I feel guilty that thoughts about my career is even crossing my mind but I just can't help worrying about it all...

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    Hello Nel88,

    Sorry to hear that your dad's prognosis isn't great. It must be so difficult for you and your family to take it all in at the moment - as you say, it is all still very raw and you need time to process everything. You sound so caring and your dad is very lucky to have you by his side. You are clearly a very united family and it was really nice of you to take time off work to look after your dad and be there for your family. 

    I think so many on our forum who are also looking after a loved one with cancer will relate to how you are feeling at the moment, that the mornings is when it seems to hit them the hardest. I know it is really hard, but perhaps you could try a distraction technique to try and chase all these thoughts away first thing in the morning? Instead of laying in bed and letting these horrible thoughts take hold, try maybe going for a swim or a run or reading a good book anything you enjoy doing that will take your mind off it and helps you face the day ahead. Try and focus on yourself for once first thing in the morning and doing this may give you a little bit more strength to look after your loved ones. I am sure some of our members will have some great suggestions for you based on their own experience - I bet they will have some great coping strategies to share with you.

    It must be really hard for you to be off work and don't feel guilty about having thoughts about your career this is perfectly normal and I hope you can find a solution that works well for you and your family.

    We are all here for you anytime you need to chat. Let us know how things develop for you. I really hope you feel better soon and that mornings get a bit easier for you.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

     

     

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