Hi Mrsfingers,

Your post made me chuckle - I'll probably go to hell I know - it was just that it sounded so familiar with echoes of my Mam complaining about my Dad's lack of empathy when she was going through chemo and my own frustrations when I was going through chemo a few years later! 

Perhaps you should add this to the thread "12 things never to say to someone who has cancer"? www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../12-things-never-to-say-to-someone-who-has-cancer

It's good to vent :-) 

Cheers

Dave

How frustrating. I feel for you. I wonder if you are seeming to cope overall which makes those around you feel relatively comfortable. But expressing your inner feelings is scary for them. That is not an excuse, but so often I see people who lose it entirely and everybody seems to bend over backwards to cater for them but those who cope reasonably well somehow aren’t allowed to feel fear, or anything else that is too negative.....

Yes gadgetgal you’ve hit the nail on the head. Negative feelings not allowed. Why though? I mean, would you be jumping off the rooftops if the shoe was on the other foot? No, thought not....

Trying to explain to people that it feels like a choice between a death sentence and a life sentence. I don’t want to hear oh well it might not be that bad. You’ve got to go through it etc. I’ll be the judge of that!

Oh and the next person to say stay positive/you’re so brave/be strong is going to get a bunch of fives. Seriously folks!

Another well-meant but annoying favourite “but you look so happy, bless” ! Well I did before you decided to patronise me!!