Hello Handsup; so sorry about your mum but welcome to the forum.  I have - some time ago now - lost both my parents .  Life is what it is; you have to work although I am sure you would rather be there with your mum.  I know the "waiting for the phone call" situation; jumping whenever the phone rang on my desk. But I soon learned that unsurprisingly quite a few colleagues have been in the same situation and understand what you are suffering. But you do not have to be strong just because you have always done so.  I can understand you want to support your father but your sister should be supporting your father also (and quite possibly is doing so); I think when we taken on the "strong" role it is for how we want to see ourselves as much as anything else so don't push yourself where you don't feel you want to go any longer.    There is no changing the awfulness of this situation but  you and your sister should be working together not one leaning on the other.  I don't know anything about your wider family - for instance if you or your sister have children, the age of your mum, if there are aunts and uncles for instance, and perhaps children who have an involvement in your mum's illness and what is going to  happen.  I only mention it as if there are other adult family members hopefully they are there for you also.  Please do keep posting here if there is anything at all you want to get off your chest.  Annie