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My dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer

jasmine_01
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Hi, my name is Jasmine, I’m 17 and my dad has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer. I’m so scared and upset and I feel lost. I’m trying extremely hard to stay strong for my family.

Being the oldest child in my family, I want to make sure I am there for my mum and my little brother as well as my dad. But to be honest I’m finding it hard. My mum isn’t eating properly and has broken down crying on me, whereas my brother is completely bottling up his emotions. I want to let him know I am here if he needs to talk but I don’t want to scare him as he is only 12 years old. I have no idea how to act around my dad as he is pretending as if nothing has happened and will not talk to us about how he is feeling, which I do completely understand why he is doing this but it leaves me feeling guilty as I do not know how to help. How do I support my family through this? Should I act normally around my dad or should I be acting differently? 

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    Hiya Jasmine

    I noticed you posted something after your replied to me! I’m so so sorry you are having to go through this, I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling. It must be horrible. I will try my best to give you advice.

    Definetly make sure your brother knows he can talk to you, I’m sure it will mean a lot to him. Bottling up your emotions is never good.

    I do understand why your Dad is acting as though  everything is normal. He doesn’t want to scare everyone and he probably wants everything to feel normal. Maybe tell your Dad about this website and he can chat to people on here? Or just tell your Dad you’re feeling really worried and ask if he can talk about everything with you? 

    Sorry if this wasn’t much help but I’m always here if you need to talk! 

    Richelle x

  • Offline in reply to richelle.xoxo

    Hey Richelle

    Thank you so much! It means a lot to me that you replied. And thank you for your advice. I think I’ll tell my dad about this website tomorrow as I think this will really help him! 

    Again, thanks so much for your advice, it’s really helpful! 

     

    Jasmine x

  • Offline in reply to jasmine_01

    Hey! 

    Yea I think this website will really help him!! And no problem!! Sorry if my advice wasn’t much help but I wanted to try my best to help you! 

    I really hope everything turns out okay and I wish the best for your future!

    I’m here if you ever need to talk!

    Richelle x

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    Hi Jasmine.

     

    Firstly I’m sorry to hear about your dad. My dad was diagnosed with Lung cancer when I was 21.. he was my best friend. I just wanted to say that I understand about wanting to stay strong, I was the one that kept everyone laughing and their minds off it all.. but don’t forget, this is hard for you too, and it’s good for you to have someone to speak to as well.

    Definitely try and encourage your brother to speak to you, but if not you can point him in the direction or Macmillan nurses or Marie curie. Perhaps he can vent in other ways, buying him a new journal for example.

     

    when I look back I feel I was so awkward with my dad free diagnosis. And I avoided speaking to him about it. Now I wish I spoke with him more about what was happening, and spent more time with him/took photos.

     

    wishing you all all the best and if you need to talk then please let me know. It can be a worrying and anxious tim, I know. 

  • Offline in reply to Keeks90

    Thank you so much! It means so much to me that you have replied. 

    Also thanks for the advice. I will definitely try and talk to my brother about it and suggest him writing down how he feels if he doesn’t want to talk. 

    Again, thank you so much and I hope you are alright.

    Best wishes,

    Jasmine 

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