How do I help/support my mum

My mum is 65 and has been ill since January. We ahve been back and forth to the GP and hospital as well as opticians. Mid September she was so bad I called 111 and she was rushed into hopsital. They said she had gall stones and sent her home with a follow up for 2 weeks time. A week later she was getting worse so we took her back to A&E. 5 days later and were told she has cancer. It is breast cancer which has spread to liver and bones including a tumour behind her eye which is pushing forward and causing pain and sight problems. 

We are all in shock. Apart from being breathless and tired she has been on the go, running around with my daughter whos 4 and only 6 weeks ago climbed the giants causeway! Were angry at it taking so long for something to be found and feel as is she was fobbed off but tryoing to stay positive too. Mum is my best friend and rock. 

She has been started on Letrozole and starting Ibrance next week as well as an injection every 4 weeks. I want to support her, make memories and enjoy the time we have but Im not sure how. She is becoming confused in the morning and upset easily. I want to take her away but dont know if we can. I dont want to stress her out. I dont even know if she is allowed to be home on her own so currently have a rota of whos with her at different times but this is proving difficult with us all working full time. 

Please if anyone can offer advice or understands what were going through I would love to hear from you.

 

 

  • Hi Charly,

    I'm sorry about your mum's diagnosis and can understand your feelings of anger and frustration but I'm glad you're trying to stay positive.

    Many members here on the forum have been on similar journeys with their parents and loved ones and hopefully some of them will reply soon to offer their advice and share their experiences with you.

    As you're unsure on how best to look after your mum at this stage of her cancer journey it may be worth sitting down with her medical team so you can ask the questions you've mentioned above and find out what support may be available to make this easier for you so you can start creating those memories.

    Our cancer nurses are just a phone call away as well if you'd like to maybe get some pointers and have a general chat with them about this. Their phone lines are open Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m on 0808 800 4040.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Charly,

    We are going thorough the same as you and your family. This is the worst time of our lives .

    my mum does not deserve this and I can’t put into words how much my mum has done for other people all her life. 

    One thing which the hospital doesn’t recommend is diet. I’ve been reading books

    and a good diet fish,vegetables,green tea etc..

    makes absolute sense now. No processed foods and no refined sugars. 

    Another thing is meditation. This is not easy but we are trying our best.

    If you would like to discuss please don’t hesitate to contact me. 

    Thanks,martin. 

  • Hi Martin

     

    I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this as well. How is you’re mum coping? Mine seems to be doing really well and now that we seem to have got on top of her tablets her confusion isn’t as bad. She is doing as much as she can and we’re trying to plan trips out etc

    Were keeping an eye on her diet and trying to eat healthy. My friend advised about sugar and we have been trying to keep that down. Any advice though would be appreciated.

    Take care and here if you ever want to talk

    Charly