Welcome to the forum Shellfel although I'm really sorry that your mum has been told she has cancer in 4 different places.

I can't begin to imagine the range of emotions you're both going through at the moment, especially with your baby being due soon, but I want you to know that you are not alone as many of our forum members have had similar experiences and hopefully you'll hear from some of them soon.

Wishing you both all the very best as you embark on this journey together, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you for replying, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions. Just want answers now and where we go from here. She’s having the camera as we speak I’m praying that somehow they have got some of it wrong. They think the primary cancer is in the breast but we haven’t seen any specialists yet just my mums gp. I’m finding this page very helpful to help me as I need to be strong for my mum. 

Xx

Hi Shellfel,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis and to hear of the sorrow that this is causing amidst so much impending joy. I hope that the camera can enlighten you further and that you don't find anything more untoward.

Getting a diagnosis like this is so difficult for all the family to accept. Cancer doesn't just impinge on the person who has it - the entire family are involved in dealing with it. How has your mum taken this news?

All of the emotions you mention are perfectly normal after receiving news like this. You can also find yourself crying a lot. If so, just let the tears flow, as crying is a good release valve. They usually begin to settle down after treatment starts.

The most helpful thing you can do is to remain as positive as you can for your mum. I appreciate that it will be difficult for you to do much before the baby arrives, but you will help tremendously by just being there for her. Is this your mum's first grandchild? Having the baby to look forward to will also give her an incentive. You could ask her whether there are any people that she would like to see or places she might like to visit. This may have to wait until after the baby arrives, but it is always good to do these things whilst your mum is still fit and able for this.

Do you have any other relatives or friends who can help in any way? You are still going to be busy after the baby arrives, so don't turn down any offers, no matter how small.

My mum had breast cancer for 12 years before she developed metastases in her liver, lungs, brain and bone. It was hard going from there on in, but I was with her as much as I could be. That was 21 years ago. I have now had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 8 years and appreciate just how reassuring it is to have the support of family anf friends. Treatment has improved beyond measure in this time and there is just no comparison between the surgery, treatment and after care that I have received in comparison to what my mum had.

I am sorry that I cannot give you a positive story, but great strides have been made since my mum died and I sincerely hope and pray that you benefit from this experience. Please stay in touch and let us know how your'e goinmg to cope with

Hi Shellfel,

I am glad to hear that you got some good news yesterday - it is always helpful to get some positive news. Has your mum got an appointment for the breast clinic yet?

Taking your mum out every day, even if it's only for a coffee and a natter will be a great help for her. It can't be easy for you to do this with 2 young children and being so close to term with number 3. Your mum sounds like a very positive person and this should help her through. A number of people on this site have made memory boxes for their children/grandchildren. I don't know whether she would consider doing this too?

You can only take one day at a time as you wait for more tests and results, but I hope that they paint a better picture for you in the end.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

She has got the breast clinic this Thursday, so will know more then. It is hard but I’m just doing everything I can to make sure everyone is ok, especially my mum. You wouldn’t even think she has anything she looks so good. We have no plan yet as we haven’t seen a specialist, so trying to think positive rather than thinking that’s it. 

Everyday is a different whirl of emotions it’s good to have this to vent out. 

Thanks xx

Hi Shellfel,

I am glad to hear that your mum has an appointment for this Thursday. You probably won't know much more until your mum has more tests carried out on Thursday. There is usually another annxious wait of about a week before she will get the results of these tests.

It is always a good idea to write down a list of questions for the consultant before you attend your appointment. I usually go armed with 2 copies - 1 for my hubby and 1 for myself. As I ask the questions, he writes down the replies. It's amazing how little we retain from our consultation by the time we reach the hospital gates and, it is all too easy to get muddled up with what has been said. Your consultant won't be phased by this at all, as many of us do the same.

It's not easy I know, but do your best to stay positive. It's so much easier to deal with this if you can.

I shall be thinking of you both on Thursday and hope that things look a bit more positive after that.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx