Help

hi my names Jess and I’m 23, my mums just been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and secondary liver cancer, she’s my best friend and my rock and I don’t know if I can cope without her, I don’t know how to take the news and I’m heartbroken, I need help and Advice,anyone please !?? 

  • Hi Jess ...

    I'm so so sorry ... There's no easy way through... It will be one of the hardest things you'll ever go through ... And I know your heart must be braking, as lots of us know the enormity of loosing their mum ..

    All I can say, is take every day and make a lifetime of memories ... Try not to look ahead, as then today will be overwhelming... Since I've had cancer, I try to make the most of every day ... Because none of us know what tomorrow brings ... So I'm doing everything to get as many good memories as I can ...

    You know it's o.k to share tears, hugs, and leave nothing unsaid ... And to admit your scared ... But fill this time as best you can ... So you'll look back and be pleased you didn't loose one day ...

    Sending you a big hug .... Chrissie xx

  •  

    Hi Jess,

    I believe that Chrissie has just about said it all. Try to be as positive as you can with your mum, support her, talk to her, accompany her to any appointments, see that she has all the equipment she needs if she is still at home (most of this is available through the NHS at no cost), does she need carers coming in to look after her personal needs?

    It is always difficult to cope with news like this. I remember just how hard it was to accept my mum's terminal diagnosis. She had breast cancer and developed metastases in liver, lungs, bone and brain. We nursed her at home until close to the end and it wasn't easy! You have a hard road ahead of you, but you will see it through. As Chrissie said, you deal with each day as it comes. Don't look any further than that.

    You will probably find that you have already begun the grieving process since you got this diagnosis. It is something that you will gradually come to terms with.

    I lost my mum 21 years ago and I still miss her every day. It is not easy, but you learn to cope without her.

    She has not left you yet, so please try your best to say all the things you want to each other, to help her to see people she may want to see or do things she might want to do, provided she is fit enough to do this.

    As time progresses, you may find that you need to ensure that her pain is properly controlled and she is as comfortable as she can possibly be. You are young to have to take this all on, but you will come out of it stronger in the end. Do you have any family or friends who can help you to look after her and give you support as well?

    Please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you, whether you want information, advice or simply want to rant.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx