DESPERATE NEED FOR INFORMATION FOR MY MUM

Where do I start I've never done anything like this before, My mum is a Paraplegia (wheelchair bond) she has a cathator, stoma, diabetic and Stage 4 Kidney Failure.

My Mum until July led a very active life driving from her wheelchair obviously adapted vehicle, attended craft classes, bowling, lots of normal activites with her friends and family, in July she was very unwell and had to have a plastic stent due to a ampullary tumour causing Biliary obstruction, at the time they took brushings only to see if the tumour was cancer.

Two weeks later she was rushed back into hospital and we were told she would not make it through the day as the plastic stent had blocked and she had ECOLA, they changed the stent to a metal larger stent, she fought hard and was in Intensive Care for 5 days and made it through (she's a fighter) they took a biopsy this time of the tumour.

CONCLUSION AFTER MDT MEETING ON THE 13TH SEPTEMBER IS THE FOLLOWING:

Care Plan Intent:  Non Curative

Reason Why: 03- Unit: Significant co-morbidity; 04 - Unfit: Advanced Stage Cancer

Referred to:  Palliative Care

MDT Comments: Dictated by GS- Dilated CBD in 2016 with slight increase in dilation on recent MRCP, Obstructive Jaundice due to distal bile duct stricture. Stent inserted at NSEC, Initial cytology C3 but repeat cytology stent change recently is suspicious of malignancy.

Plan: Multiple comorbidities including CKD stage 4, not suitable for resection or pallative chemotherapy. only option Best Supportive Care.

Please help me I cant give up there must be other treatments out there

 

  • Hi there ..

    This is a heartbraking one to try to answer, and I can only say what I'd do, everyone is different, and no way is write or wrong ... just different ..

    The oncology team have so much expierance, in knowing when to just pull back, they don't do it lightly, everything is weighed up ... if it were me, as I am on this cancer journey ... I am not having treatment after my mastectomy last year .. I want to take every day, be it long or short, and live it to the best quality I can .. I do take tamoxifen .. but l take every day, and live that day to the full .. all my family support my decision .....  chemo can take so much out of young healthy people, and us with lots of other health issues , it will take so much to get through it .. do you really want to see her go through that too .. with no guarantee. . But maybe a tiny bit longer ...

    Grab every day with her, and make a lifetime of memories ... which ever way she goes, it will be helped with you holding her hand ... none of us know how long we have .. but sometimes the kindest thing to do is the hardest. . 

    But at the end of the day,  maybe making those days filled with love , hugs, and even sharing tears along the way ... leave nothing unsaid .. ... my heart goes out to you and your mum ... sending you both a big hug  ...Chrissie x

  • Thank you Chriss,

    I send my love, I would never want her to go through Chemo because it WOULD shorten her life and make her ill, I was just wondering if anyone on this site have ever been through the same with maybe the same ailments, my mum cant have a operation or chemo because of kidney failure, i was just wanting to know if there was any other options out there, she is blessed with love every single day I have cared for her for 20yrs since we lost my father at 57yr, just feel like i need to find out more information, i am so strong and positive just like she is but I just need to try, she has no idea i'm on this site, McMillan Nursers are coming out next week so we may get some information.

    You will be in my thoughts and I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart xx

  • Well , I'm on here most days if you want to chat .. l so hope you get the info your looking for .. and maybe McMillan will give you some answers ..

    Big hug ... Chrissie x