Hi, 

I am so sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis, and to hear that you have been struggling so. I can understand about your anxiety and depression because I suffer from them also and when something like this happens all those feelings sky rocket and become ten times worse. I let my body grieve and hurt for a while as it needed to and then turned my attention to my dad who had been diagnosed with stage 3 oesophageal cancer, my mum couldnt look after him so I did. This forced me to focus on him rather than the feelings that built up inside. They were still there but they werent as obvious to me if that makes sense. It is normal to feel grief for someone that is still alive when they are diagnosed with something like cancer but you never know what will happen, she sounds fit and healthy which is always great. As the news sinks in and you all carry on it does tend to get easier as you slowly able yourself to deal with it. I know right now you feel like doing nothing you enjoyed before but this feeling wont last, the anxiety, the depression, its so hard to get out of but you can always talk to us on here, were here to help you and if you ever need to you can add me and private message me, i'd be happy to chat and try and support you through it. I will never forget what it feels like and I dont ever want anyone else to feel that way. Doing things you enjoy I find is a good way to give your mind a break from stressing and worrying, you must be exhausted with how your feeling. Theres no need to apologise for anything, cancer is hard on everyone and we all need support. 

I wish you all the best, 

Bex xx