Hello Ding2002; sorry that your mum has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.  It is difficult to give a straight answer to your question as people react differently.  However, I am happy to give you such advicc as I can from having lost family and friends to cancer over the years.   You should really try to find out if your mum wants to talk about what is happening; go along with whatever she wants to do.  Ask her; she is your mum; you love each other and know each other so very well.  Tell her how you feel but be alert for what she wants to discuss.  You don't have to talk solely about your mum's cancer of course but there are some aspects of her diagnosis that you should perhaps discuss now.  What would she like to do in her remaining months (I realise these possibilities may be limited but ask her what she feels would be good).  I have no idea of your respective ages but if there are youngsters in your family your mum may like to put together a memory book for them - photos, letters, whatever she would like them to remember her by.    If you can, talk about what she would like at her funeral; I have found that some people want to talk about these details.  Has she made a will?  I know this is sordid money stuff but it is important.  I am attaching a link to practical advice for family and friends; I hope some of this may be useful to you.  Please do come back to us if there are other questions.  Annie

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../how-support-someone-with-cancer

First of all, I’m so sorry to read your post. Nothing can prepare you for when you receive news like this, I know as I went through it too with my mum. I didn’t talk to my mum about her not being here as I didn’t want to upset her and probably because I couldn’t bear to hear it. I made a decision to keep her thinking of happy things and focusing on doing what I could to keep her mind busy with good things. There came a time when my mum did want to open up about. It was very difficult to hear and I tried to listen as best I could. I guess in a way I’m saying to be guided by her as to what she wants to talk about. If she seems to want to be distracted then you could focus on doing that and if she seems to want to open up about the future then go along with that too. Sorry that you are going through this. X

Hi DIng, I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I have lost a couple of family members to cancer so I know what your going through is the worst in the world. When my grandma was dying from cancer she was quite open about it and didnt mind talking about it but not all are the same, so I would find out if your ma would like to talk about it but some just like to live out their final time in as much normality as possible. Just spend time with her, as much as you can, doing things that she loves. Losing someone like this is never easy, not being able to help but you just being there for her will mean the absolute world so dont worry you are doing so much by just being with her. 

We are always here for you if you need anything,

Bex