Hi there .. so sorry your in this heartbraking cancer journey with your mum ...

I find, if everyone tries to be too brave in front of everyone else, all can fall apart .. once the shock lessens a tad, take a deep breath .. and know lots have been in your shoes, and your never alone on here .. there's always someone who has been though something Simerla.. there is a lass on here done caring for her loved ones with cancer .. so she knows how it feels .. I will ask her to come on to advice a tad ..

If I were you, I'd ask your dad, what he would like you to do to help .. that way he still feels in charge of the situation .. I'd say to your mum .. your here whenever she wants to chat .. and to listen .. if she sees your coping , she may open up more .. but remember sharing a few tears is good .. and saying your both scared too .. means you'll walk this cancer journey holding her hand .. and let her decide things.. as us cancer patients sometimes feel we loose all control .. and then it's harder to open up to loved ones ..

You can do this .. it's like the scariest rollercoaster ride that you can imagine .. but wer all there too .. holding tight .. and I know I coped better when my son stopped panicking... my daughter in law said to us early on before my mastectomy... no more panicking.. no more "what ifs" well take every problem as and when they come up .. and we'll do everything together... and she did ..

Please take a step back and take a little time for you and the kids .. they pick up things and feelings .. and they need you too, esp now nannys poorly .. GENTLE honesty... deep on age .. and if they cry, that's fine.. share a tear with them too .. then you'll all do this, hand in hand ... 

Don't worry too much about what your doing .. go with your heart .. and balance things and time out... because you have to look after you too .. sending you a big hug ... Chrissie 

Hi love, it's a hard situation to be in and the mis diagnosis is even harder.  I know how angry you feel, we were fobbed off for four months by which time it was stage four, too late to operate and so on.  To cope you need to put this to one side, anger wastes energy, re visit it at a later date and then write to PALS, the hospital will have the address.  Most people who have cancer don't want to discuss it, especially with their children.   Ask Mum to give consent to the Mc Millan nurses to openly discuss her cancer, the treatments anything you want to know.  We did this with our grown up daughter's and that settled it.  Parents don't want you worrying, we're meant to protect you, so look at it from Mum's point of view.   We never talk about cancer, we have a good time, go out for a drink or to places we all can manage, to this day our grandchildren have no idea he has cancer, we just say Grandad is tired, be patient with him, play card games, watch a film, all good memories .  Take each day as it arrives and go with MUM'S feeling on that day.  I hope this helps you a little.   Life can be lived with cancer in it.  Warmest wishes, Carol 

Hi there, 

I am really sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis, there's no doubt its awful when someone so close has to journey down this road. I think the doctors that fobbed your mum off need to be looked into at some point, thats not on. I do understand your mum just telling you the minimum, shes probably just worried about you and trying to protect you from hurt, but I think you are doing an amazing job looking after your family, you are a strong woman!

The way you are feeling is awful but it won't last forever, its a shock for all of you and so hard to deal with, to be honest it took months for my families cancers to sink in even when they were having treatment. All you can do is mostly what your doing now, keep being there for her, she will know that you love and care for her and that will mean the world I have no doubt. I'm sorry you feel alone but unfortunately I find its a common feeling through this, but remember you are not alone, you have your family, your friends, and us who can become friends too if you wish it, we're here to support you. 

I really hope your mums treatment goes well. 

Bex x