Hi Lizworld,

Glad your mum managed to get some food.  It might be that evenings are easier for eating, I have been finding that although I can't ascertain any reason for it.  As long as she's getting something at least.

Just for info I was diagnosed with bipolar after a mental breakdown in my early 20s that left me in a  severe depressive state for a number of months (being force fed etc.) so I hopefully have a good understanding of how things are for your mum in terms of her mental health.  The lack of emotion is very difficult to come to terms with especially as you can feel inside that it would be beneficial to cry.

You know your mum far better than me obviously but I tend to think maybe it's best to take her at her word?  She may worry about ruining what should be a nice holiday for all of you.  When I'm depressed, and also recently when I've been very ill due to the chemo, I know that it's just something I need to get through, I know no-one else (no matter how much they want to) can actually change it, and I prefer that others leave me to be and get on doing the things they enjoy.  It seems to me that when there's nothing anyone can do for me there's no point their lives also revolving around the illness.  So maybe it would be best for you all to get on and do things on the holiday just checking in on your mum from time to time to ensure she is alright?  If people do fuss around me I can end up wrongly feeling guilty that I'm ruining their time and that's horrible.  Maybe it would help your mum to know you're all enjoying the holiday as best you can.

Is it worth getting her to commit to telling you if she needs anything or if there's anything anyone can do for her, on the basis that you can get on with the holiday trusting that she will stick to her word?

A week does feel like a long time, but it would take quite a bit too make her too ill to fly home so as long as she is eating a bit she will hopefully be okay.

I can understand her not wanting her keyworker called but it really isn't a big deal, that's what they are there for and all you're doing is checking everything is okay.  I have to call my nurse at least a couple of times a week to check on new symptoms and stuff.  At first you feel like a nuisance but actually by nipping things in the bud it prevents creating extra work for them.

Got to go just now but will be keeping you all in my thoughts. I hope you get to enjoy a bit of the holiday.

LJx

Thanks

Everything you have said makes total sense, I really appreciate you taking time to reply too.

All the best & thank you again :-)

Hi Liz, just a quick hello & hope today was a better day for all of you. I can understand your mother not wanting to go home early. Hope she does take some snacks & drinks. 

Take care 

Be strong, I am sure your mum wants to fight it, everyone does. If her cancer is advanced she will be tired and short of breath, hot weather does not help the SOB xx I would say let her rest. Get some rest too as you will be on the go when you are back. The chemical changes caused by cancer will make your mum lose her apetite. When she wants to she will eat, try not to make a big deal out of it. I understand its diffucult xx Try to have some time chatting with her, let her decide what she wants.  xx