Cancer Research UK main site

Mum with cancer

Tansytot2018
Offline

Not really sure what to say but reading previous posts makes me feel less alone. On Friday my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer after going into A&E for a fractured vertebrae. It turns out that the fracture was a result of secondary bone cancer. Mum has a mass in her left lung and we are waiting for an appointment with the oncologist. Honestly, I am so scared and genuinely don’t know what to expect. Never in a million years did I dream that this would happen to my mum. I want to be there for mum but have to work as well so feel ridiculously guilty and angry. I am desperate to know how long my mum has and what can be done to help her. I’m really scared that she will be refused treatment. I’m trying really hard to be strong but am a complete mess.

  • Offline

    Hi Tansy,  I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum.  We all go through the dreadful state of not knowing but don't beat yourself up about this, as I've said before to others take it a day at a time.  Statistics  vary, I only once looked up the death rate for lung cancer and it scared me to death!  My husband has stage 4 lung cancer and a large 7.5cm mass and his survival rate was 7%, however after treatment it went to 60%.  I know it's difficult to want to know everything straight away but that's not possible.   All the worry in the world will not benefit Mum and will wear you out. keep an open mind,  everyone will be honest with you and Mum will receive the best care they can give.  I truly hope you get some answers soon and then you will cope better.   All the best to you and your family.   Carol 

  • Offline

    Hello and best wishes from me.  Are you the only carer that your mum has or do you have family who can help?  I only ask so that you can have help for your mum put in place when needed and hopefully arrange this around your work.  Caz07 is right; don't jump too far ahead with fears, take things as they come and hopefully plans for care will fall into place as and when they are needed.  I can understand that you fear what you don't know but there is really no way of knowing these details until they happen - outcomes vary so much.  There will be help available when needed and it is even better if you have others with whom to share the caring.  Enjoy the time you have with your mum how ever long it is.  Annie

  • Offline

    So sorry your mum is going through this, mine is too and it has been a real eye opener and so unexpected. Best advice I can give is hunt down her consultant and ask them questions about everything and everything (pin them down or you will be left in the dark), contact the Patient Liason service and get some numbers incase you are messed around they are great ... get support wherever u can and make sure you keep her as strong and healthy as possible so they cannot use her frailty as an excuse.

    Fingers crossed for you I am sure they will treat her asap

     

  • Offline in reply to deanfromuk

    What others have said, especially "....hunt down her consultant and ask them questions about everything and everything (pin them down or you will be left in the dark)" The expert patient (or patient's advocate) always does "better". I don't think most medics deliberately keep people in ignorance, but Consultants in particular are not always good at one-to-one communication. 

    My sympathy and best wishes.

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.