Hi Dave, 

Thank you for the links, they were really helpful.

I Just wish I could tell how quickly she is going to get worse, I’m already noticing changes. Sadly as she’s unable to be given any treatment we will not be able to check on the progress of the cancer which is really frustrating. I’d like to give up work and care for her full time to be honest but finances will not allow that for too long. 

I keep telling her to imagine she has one month and then we are blessed with anymore time.

Kind regards,

LF

As you say, such uncertainty is very difficult not least for practical issues. Done well to get even "months" out of them - wish I could get even that much precision for my wife. 

Imagine 1 month sounds the very best approach. Hope you get the bonus - but not at a high pain cost for your mum.

My sympathy.

So sorry to hear about your wife dj48 :(

The primrose nurse is asking the Dr to give us a time frame if possible so hopefully we will know more next week. She was much more helpful than the Doctors so maybe that’s someone for you to request some help from? 

Kind regards,

LF 

Thank you, LF. "Primrose nurse" a new term to me - I shall check it out.

Thank you for your replies.

I used this forum to try and predict Mums life expectancy and reading through the posts really helped, so I knew I had to write my own experience on here.

Mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer on 13th June and died on August 15th. We did not find out what type of cancer it was as she had COPD, asthma, angina and it just wasn’t worth it. When we found out she didn’t seem hugely different than the other times she had been in hospital and the cancer was missed on so many previous scans, it was right by her heart and she always had chest infections so they assumed it was always that causing the dark blur. 

She was great, had to be on oxygen 24/7 and we wouldn’t leave her side but overall, herself! but then went into hospital as her sodium was low and caught shingles. I don’t think this had much of an effect on her timeline to be honest. About 10 days before she passed, she was more tired and confused. She then went to sleep and barely spoke from the Friday, she died on the Wednesday. The Tuesday before we washed her and she was lifeless. We stopped all medication and took her off her mask around the Saturday because she just couldn’t swallow. Signs to watch out for are confusion, being unable to swallow, becoming more tired and towards the end - the white fingertips. Everyone’s experience is different but Mums last 2.5 weeks were when she started getting confused and it went downhill from there.

She died peacefully cuddled up to me and my sister and I’m forever thankful for that. I think the anxiety of her passing at the wrong moment, without us, was the worst. 

I wish I followed my gut and left work sooner (I worked mornings up until the Friday before).

Mum wanted to celebrate Christmas early and although it was originally arranged for 11th August, we luckily moved it to the 15th July. It was great, she actually went 3 hours without oxygen (we didn’t realise!) and stayed out until 11pm. We are so lucky to of had that day, so many came and Mum was showed how loved she was whilst she was still here. I’d advise anyone to do this - build a memory that shows them going out with a bang. 

She lived with me during the last moments and my biggest regret is that I was too strong, sometimes I wish I cried my heart out and told her how scared I was to live without her. I wish she heard that from me but I know she knew deep down.

We’re lucky Mum was the strong little soul she was but I suppose that makes it so much harder without her.

The primrose nurses were the best people to get advice from, better than the doctors. Make sure everything is done how you want, you know them better than anyone else!

Hope this helps someone and feel free to ask questions. This forum helped me so much! Xx

Hi LF,

Thanks for sharing your story, I'm so glad your Mum's passing was peaceful and with her loved ones.

Best wishes

Dave