OK, entirely unsurprisingly my tongue biopsy proved positive and on Thursday I was told "very small", TNM "zero" so far. "Best guess, surgery..." This, despite requested further tests (presumably re spreading), I found relatively encouraging. Yesterday a head/throat MRI - again, understandable and logical further check. I was also referred for a CT scan - booked for Monday. I suppose I should have asked "of where?" but I didn't. Have now received CT details through the post - "thorax, abdomen and pelvis". I can only assume that for reasons undisclosed to me there is something that strongly suggests that the sprerad is extensive and that tongue presumably a secondary not primary site. I really think I should have been told this on Thursday. 

I am not prepared to fight a losing battle on so many fronts! I need as much time as possible to put my affairs in order, buy my unwell wife a more suitable house and arrange my own death. I thought frankness and clarity supposed to be norm these days - clearly not. The man seems to have bottled out of imparting the harsh reality. How he could have thought that this in THIS patient's best interests beyond me.