Hi there and welcome ...

Your only human , your not super woman ... if you diddnt feel scared there would be something wrong with you .. it doesn't matter what stage ... it's all the same to the one who has got it .. so rant away .. we've all been there ... I'm pretty dam strong (most times) but I spent 24 hours tucked away in a bed in a ball crying and not wanting to see anyone, on hearing diagnosis .. everything going through my head from not seeing my granddaughter Emily (pictured) grow up to my own funeral ..

So stop hating your self .. your not doing this to your family, or anything else that comes with this .. cancer is ... your just getting your head around .. l came out of my 24 hour session much stronger coz I let those feelings out ... and yes they come in waves, sometimes tidal waves ... but once you get that out and say "right now I'm ready" and get your boxing gloves on ready to match it punch for punch, you'll find you can cope better .. and I've got a stack of boxing gloves ... I'll send you a vertual pair over...

So go easy on your self .. go with all those feelings .. but get them in balance .. a time for each one ... and look in the mirror and tell your self you can do this .. here am l 10 months down the line ... and l hope I've got cancer on the ropes ... it's not about winning or loosing .. it's about taking it on ... coz cancer wants you to give up .. wants us to never stop crying .. it has no compassion ... so don't let it change who you are ... wer all there with you ... no matter what you have ... close your eyes... look around .. wer all there ... all different cancers... all different stages and different treatments. . But wer all there ..TOGETHER ... sending you a big hug ... Chrissie

Thank you so much for your reply. I really needed them words. Good luck with your fight!