Julia,

i have just had a number 3 with the clippers and look like a skinhead.

A few well placed tattoos and I would look like a right Ned.

Also I’m not as blond as I thought I was well it’s done now but even the short hair is coming out so won’t be long until I’m polishing my bonce

This is the first bad snow I have seen in years.....granted it’s cold usually, but, this much snow....unusual for Glasgow. I’m all set for round 2 of chemo on Tuesday, only hooked up for 1hour so not too boring.

Donna

Donna, I hope you have a warm hat! 

Good luck Tuesday 

Julia 

Morning julia, 

the biopsies are all done, I won’t say I’m fine as that would be lying, I’m super sore and dosed up to the eyeballs on meds, has a good chat with my consultant and going to have a few scans next week, a bone scan, full body scan and another mri, would seem “Fred’s” having a glorious time in taking over my body, this journey is very emotional which is new to me as I’m normally a very hard faced person who just gets on with things, I cried leaving yesterday morning seeing my little one all tucked up in bed and me going off to get punctured all over! 

How are you feeling? I’m going out to lunch today with friends and get my nails done, 

cath xx

Morning Cath,

Good for you, you get your nails done, hair done, pedicure....full works for you! And friends are fabulous aren't they? When I had my scan results last Tuesday mine literally dropped everything. One even jumped on the train from Eastbourne (I'm in London). 

I had a call from the Marsden yesterday, I will be there on Thursday for a chat with the consultant and biopsies need to be arranged, it appears Ripley is not behaving as she should either. The dots on my lungs/spleen/liver don't appear to be the same and they are thinking I have a different cancer there, or they even mentioned TB! I thought that was a disease of yesteryear or the third world. However my daughter, who is a health visitor, said its rife in parts of London. 

i have a 2 month old granddaughter, very long awaited and very much loved and I understand. For me, it's like I am in this bubble on an escalator and everyone around me is running to keep up and I'm bouncing along without stopping. So parts of me are optimistic thinking well if it's not spread and its TB then that's a result, and parts of me are thinking Holy Cow 2 different cancers?? How does that work?? But the nurse I spoke to yesterday was fab and made me feel very safe. If thats the right word. Whatever they decide to do, I am doing it. Drugs will be available, and we will both get through these horrid few weeks of uncertainty one day at a time. They will biopsy the liver and Ripley and compare the two, and then we know. But that won't be next week so I will make sure I have plenty to keep my mind going and stop me imagining Armageddon going on in there in the meantime! 

Stay strong Cath...we both have a great deal to manage but a great deal of support and love around us we can draw on. 

Add a facial to the list too 

Julia xx

Had bought a couple of bandanas from Amazon, almost makes me forget about my hair. Now rocking the Gypsy look .

Have started using nail conditioner, it’s clear and just in case my nails get damaged.

Just want to get Chemo over with this Tuesday.

Hope you are well, I’m waiting on Jim bringing in a curry and I’m having a few beers tonight.

Ant or Dec are on tonite, so good plan!

when/if they decide to evict Ripley (she's getting far too comfortable in there) hopefully I'll have more room to eat more! Curry sounds divine! Enjoy :) 

Well I saw the consultant Thursday. It appears Ripley weighs a stone and is the size of a baby. The plan is to remove her, my left kidney my spleen and part of my bowel. 

They have no idea what the spots on the lungs/spleen/liver are, only that they are not the same as the cancer I have. They can't see another primary and the only place they haven't looked is my brain, and as I had a cat scan there 6 months ago it won't be there. They are thinking auto immune, as I have vitiligo which is another auto immune disease,  but they have to biopsy and that won't be until 12 April as there isn't space to do it earlier. But they have booked the operation for 24 April. The only reason it won't happen is if the spots are cancer. Then it's treat that first depending on what it is. And no operation because it's just too much stress on the body. In the meantime they are going to consult with a rheumatologist. 

Ive had a ***** day today, Crying at the drop of a hat. I think lack of sleep and trying to get my head round it has taken its toll. I thought this lump was removable without much trauma but learning how much has to go is a real shock. Still if I'm alive at the end of it that's all good......

Sorry to vent, it's good to get it down. I've been keeping a diary too. That helps. 

Have a peaceful weekend

Aww julia, I’m sorry to read all this, I hope you feel slightly better today, this sarcoma is a real ba@@@@d!! There is a option on here to send a private message I will see if I can work it out, I’m still just as much in the dark as I was last week, had a bone scan on Friday, they took me straight to ct to look at my head and neck and abdomen and pelvis in more detail, as always they would give nothing away!! I went out last night and had a good drink to numb my mind and actually got some sleep, 

how long will your recovery be from the operation? Think of it like a divorce party and seeing the back of the unwanted “ripely” 

i think Friday was the hardest day I’ve had it hit me like a ton of bricks that I actually have cancer, I was feeling brave and went on my own for the scan but the time waiting for the radioactive dye to do its thing made my head realise, your not alone in this it’s so good to have you to chat to, we will beat this and it can have whatever part of me that needs cutting away but it’s not having my soul...xxx