Unexpected Stage 4 Lung Cancer - Step Mum

My stepmum was admitted to hospital 2 weeks ago with a bloated and painful belly.

We have now been through the shock and denial and she starts radiotherapy in 2 weeks.

She doesn't want to know about how much time she has. 

I am providing support to her and my dad (who is about to start dialysis and is very unwell too) and I am aware that she doesn't have long according to statistics. 

I just want to know how best to support her and my dad. They are inseparable and have been for 26 years.

I've arranged a counselling session for my dad as he keeps breaking down. It's all such a shock.

 

  • Hello HeyMickey.  And welcome.  Sorry to learn of your stepmum being so ill and also your father being unwell also.  A very difficult time for you.  Statistics are a guide but not set in stone.  If statistics say a patient with Illness A will die in about six months also included in that are patients who die after say one month and other patients who will die in about 11 months.  It is just an average really.  Quite possibly your best guide will be provided by what you can observe yourself of how your stepmum is doing, aided by the nurses who will be caring for her.  Is your stepmum returning home for future care?  How to provide support?  Well, from my own experience I would say try to keep things normal as far as possible.  It can be difficult to keep your own emotions in check but try to keep calm and continue to talk about things you have always talked about; be there to listen to your stepmum and your dad when they want to talk about what is happening.  Well done for arranging counselling for your dad; if you need support MacMillan Cancer Support (Freefone 0808 808 0000) will provide this to people caring for cancer patients and also the nurses here (Mon-Fri office hours Freefone 0808 808 4040) will be very happy to talk to you.  And of course you are always welcome to post on this forum even if just to vent your feelings.  It is such a difficult situation that you are thrown into and I would say take any help you are offered.  Annie