Cancer Research UK main site

Litterally can’t cope.. help

Kimmy8489
Offline

Hi

in very new to this 

just found out my mum has lung cancer T4 N3 , in 10 weeks it has spread up her lung into her lymph nodes and her neck..

as i I only have her and my 2 brothers as family Iv never had to deal with something this tragic in my 30 years of living

i can’t eat , or sleep.. I don’t feel I can talk to my boyfriend or friends as I don’t want to be a burden.. I feel overflowed in tears as I cry myself to sleep most nights. My heart litterally aches 

I’m so scared for her , I feel helpless . No one deserves this hand in life. She’s not a bad person wouldn’t hurt a fly.. there are murders and pedos out there .. why my mum.. 

Sorry for the rant I just feel I can’t talk to anyone 

kim Xoxoxo 

  • Offline

    Hello kim; I felt for you as I - and others on these forums and in the world outside - have felt just the same when someone we love dearly gets a serious diagnosis.  I felt the same when it was my mum - her own mother had died not long before and my mum had spent many years caring daily for her - it seemed so unfair that she would not get any time for herself.  Cancer is a vile beast without any morality.

    Please stick together with your family and support each other - often I read here that family members disappear into themselves and cannot communicate well with each other.  Make use of any support you can get - this forum, MacMillan Cancer Support (Freefone 0808 808 0000) will listen to you and give advice and a shoulder to cry on.  Take care of yourself too.

  • Offline

    Hi there

    Im in the same position . Yesterday my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer thats spread to her rib . Its incurable   .  Im lost . Im in a world of my own but have found helpful some stories here that have give me a glimmer of hope . 

    Im here if u wud like to talk . Wud help me too .  Xxx 

  • Offline
    Hi Kim, I'm new to this forum; I came on here to try and make sense of what we're being told about my mum's chemotherapy and I saw your post. I couldn't help but create an account to talk to you. I felt exactly the same as you when I found out my mum had cancer; I was 29, and i'm 31 now. We're extremely close, and we have a very small family. Nobody had every had anything like this before and it was so overwhelming. If I can offer any kind of help, its to say that it sounds strange but in time, you adapt. If she's able to have some treatment, try to get involved, try to go with her to her sessions and be there for her. Knowing you're doing everything you can was some comfort for me. Another important thing is to let yourself grieve for this - it's new, it's horrible and you're allowed to be upset. You're her daughter and you are allowed to be that. I found that getting it out, almost made way for me to get positive and start to build a relationship with my mum that I could never regret or feel guilty about - regardless of whether treatment is successful or not. It's very hard. It is. But you can get through it and you will. xxx
  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Thank you  

     

    this website is is very helpful I wasn’t sure really what toexpect when I found out.. I’m going to spend as much time as I can with her and find fun sentimental things to do with her like board games we used to play when I was younger.. she has her first 9 hour chemo session next Thursday see how that goes :)

    thank you for you kind words

  • Offline in reply to JoanneCaroline

    Hello

    Your very kind and thank you..

    your right, I need to be strong for her.. I don’t want to cry in front of her I know when I see her next weekend I’ll just constantly be in bits..

    your right get involved and do all I can for her 

    Thank you for your advice it really does mean a lot xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Kimmy8489

    Hello again Kimmy.  You are a great daughter trying to be strong and doing things that your mum will enjoy.  Hello also to JoanneCaroline and Claire.  I know it can be hard to keep cheerful when with your mum but because you love her so much you don't want to add to her problems by seeing you crying when you are with her.  You might not always succeed but that is okay too - not the same thing at all as constant tears so don't beat yourself up if this happens.  Of course your tears will flow when you are not with your mum but that is good too - as JoanneCaroline says, you are allowed to be devastated, you are her daughter.  I hope you will continue to support each other by letting it out here whenver it is all too much to bear.

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Thankyou for ur support and kind words  xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.