Pancreatic cancer

until a few days ago, I’d never had to say those words. My mom is 80 and had been having stomach and back pains for months. Then on Saturday a CT scan showed a mass in her pancreas 7cm x 3.5 cm. we were told to take mom home (she had been admitted from a&e) and the big meeting with consultants would be on Friday and we would be told a plan. Took her home, she was given morphine. Within a few hours she was confused and was taken back to a&e. She’s still in hospital, today they did a chest CT scan.

i am beyond heartbroken, she’s my best friend and I’m not ready to lose her. My children both have autism, 15 and 18 years old. How do I tell them? How do I stay strong for them and mom? 

How can the tumour be so big? 

I feel scared and angry and so alone 

  • Hello Jadeliza and welcome - although I am sure you never wanted to be here.  This has all happened so suddenly you have been thrown into unknown waters without any guidance.  I hope you are not facing this on your own but have other adult family members facing it alongside you.

    As you probably realise there is no simple answer to how you cope with this situation. Also I have no idea of the implications for your two sons as I know very little about autism but I do hope that there is somewhere you can go for advice on this subject if your sons have had no previous experience of this kind of situation.  I can suggest that (1) you ring MacMillan Cancer Support Freefone 0808 808 0000 who will hopefully be able to help you with their great wealth of experience with both cancer patients and their families, and (2) keep posting here if it help you to spell out how you are feeling. The emotions you describe are entirely normal and we somehow get through because we have no alternative.  Pleae take care of yourself as well as your family and let us know - if you wish to do so - what comes out of Friday's meeting with the consultants.