I am so sorry, Saragrat.     Of course you don't know what to say, nobody does when they are thrown into this situation; it is a horrible shock.  I know I didn't when my mum had terminal cancer.   Ask your dad whether it is okay for the doctor treating him to keep you informed of what  is being done so that you are not left wondering what is going on.  Cancer is of course horrible but pain can generally be kept under control these days.  You only learned this bad news yesterday so you need a bit of time to assimilate it.

There are articles on cannabis oil on this forum and if you scroll down a page or two you will find one of them.  The general consensus at the moment seems to be that the jury is still out; research is ongoing but nobody is  confident that it is safe or effective as yet.

Whilst we know that our parents are likely to die before we do it is a horrible jolt when we discover it is going to happen.  I of course don't  know how old your dad is.  Try not to cry in front of your dad as this will add to the stress he is going through.  Easy for me to say, I know.

Hello, 

I really feel for you at this sad and worrying time. It is awful knowing what is going to happen one day to your loved one. I sympathise a lot with you because I was in your position not so long ago. Back in 2015 my Dad was told he had bowel cancer but it had already spread to his lungs and liver at the time of diagnosis. They told him it was incurable and chemo will only help stabilise it and prolong his life. We knew one day he would die from his cancer we just didn't know when. A doctor told my mum at the time that my dad had two years to live but she didn't tell anyone, my Dad didn't even know. I don't know what the 2 year time frame was based on, maybe just statistics. My Dad passed away in August (4 months ago). Two years and 4 months after diagnosis. It is still a massive shock as it was so unexpected. His cancer travelled to his brain 4 months before he died, if it hadn't of gone to his brain he'd still be here today. 

Thinking back to when my Dad was diagnosed and we knew he would die one day I don't think there was much I did say to him. What can you say? I remember crying and telling my Dad how sorry I was. Nothing I could say was going to make any difference but in my head I had to say something I didn't want to ignore the topic. I don't think its about being positive, many people told me to be positive but it was easier said than done. I thought to myself be positive about what exactly? But I knew I couldn't be negative either because I didn't want my negativity to pull my mum or dad down. So I balanced myself somewhere in the middle and just stayed neutral. Are they still treating your Dad with medication or chemo? If so then I always used this as a positive because whilst their still treating him then there are still options. I know they've said your Dad has about a year but as I mentioned before this is usually down to statistics. But your Dad isn't a statistic he is an individual and many people outlive their timeframes. I have spoken to terminally ill people who are still going 6 years down the line. So nothing is impossible. Main thing is to spend as much time as you can with him, create memories and take pictures and videos. Something everyone should do anyway. As for your Mum, I know it will be hard to know what to say to her too...just be there for her and help her as she is going to need you more than ever. I don't know a great deal about Cannabis oil but the proper stuff that apparently helps isn't legally available here in the UK, if this is where you're based. 

If you have any further questions or simply want to have a chat with someone who understands then you're welcome to message me. 

Big hugs 

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me ,it means so much to have people to talk to who really understand .My dad has been given the option of chemo but the oncologist has said that the cancer is terminal and so although the treatment could maybe extend his life by 6 months or so that really it would take away his remaining quality of life .This week has just been a whirlwind of pain and emotion for us all,i am trying my best to be there for them both ,my dad has always been so active and they were enjoying life so much ,it's such a cruel blow I took my grown up children around to see them today ,my brother and his wife and my sister were also there so we only stayed a couple of hours as my dad gets tired quickly now but it was a happy house today ,best it could be anyway . I come home and cry and the nightime is terrible as im so worried about both of them .My dad is 80 and my mum 75 ,theyve been together 52 years ,my mum will be totally lost without him but we will be there to help as much as possible .Tough road ahead but a comfort to know there are people that understand .

Hi,

I am so sorry for what your going through, I am studying what alternatives there are to help with pain and medicating.

I am doing a study on this I have a sarcomatoid carcinoma, it's all over my back and few treatment options. Have a look at either my blog or my vlog as I am doing a month of research and interviews into this.

Dan