Hi Victoria

I am going through similar situation to yourself. My dad was diagnosed with primary liver cancer 2 weeks ago after being admitted into hospital with feeling ill. I was told yesterday he has weeks to live and may not see Xmas. 

Like your gran my dad is my world, he is the most caring,  amazing dad and fanatastic grandad. I am my dad's only child and we have always been so close. He isn't just my dad, he is my best friend and is so supportive of everything I have done. 

It has comes as a huge shock, I go through a range of emotions daily upset, guilt, anger, despair, worry, lost how will I cope. Who will remind me to get my car taxed or what temperature to cook a chicken on, those silly little things have really got me. I too have been focused on how he feels knowing he is dying and I did ask him to which he replied he has no choice now and has accepted it. I have even felt bitter as to why him, I'm due another baby in April and he won't be here to meet her but we still talk about her. I wont spend any more birthdays or celebrations with him here but he'll always be with me and I will most defintley still talk to him.

Yes he has got worse the last week with infections, weight loss and can no longer eat solid food but he remains strong and bright which actually keeps me going. I think the hardest part for us both is how quickly it has happened.

I now take everyday as it comes and try not to think about the future to much. I know what the outcome is going to be but I just think about cherishing the time we have now. I do get upset daily, usually as i leave the hospital but I remind myself how lucky I am to have such a great and wise person in my life and that I have had him 28 years of my life.

Toni