Oh bless ya heart .... I just can't imagine how heartbroken your feeling right now ... your poor babies... I wish I had a magic wand sometimes on here ... I've got breast cancer but I'm an ol bird and it's so much easier to accept...  my niece lost her husband about  18  years ago ... they had a 3 year old and 10 month old ... so I know how hard she found it ... but looking back, her babies saved her coz she had to make things o.k for them ... though she did have us all holding her hand along the way... and that baby is at college now and she's wonderful and we always talk about her daddy  ... have you got family or really good friends ?  You will need them ....

But in the time you've got try to find the strength to make as many memories as you can ... cancer wants to beat you down so you never want to get up ... it has no mercy ... it wants us to break ... so you are stronger and tougher then you can imagine ... try to live in the day ... to make each day count ... those memories you make now will live in your heart forever ...even though I bet you just want to have a good scream ... but holding his hand on this journey with all its highs and lows and all those feelings your having are normal, it's all part of loving someone so much ... 

I think mcmillan can help if your little ones need counselling... you can phone their free phone number .. and there's one on here too ... we can hold your hand whenever you want to say things or even to have a rant , when you need to let off steam ... I'm sending you a huge grate hug ... always here if you want to chat ... xx