Hi Jessamay,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You do get dragged along in the rush to get a diagnosis and then to start surgery or treatment. Sadly, this is one time that being a nurse is of no help to you. Although you are working on a medical ward and have little knowledge of chemo, you maybe know a little too much about the process.

There are different types of chemo for different cancers, but nobody can predict how chemo will affect them. I cared for my mother with breast cancer. She survived for 12 years before it metastasised in liver, lungs, brain and bones. Since then I myself have also been diagnosed and have had 2 bouts of primary breast cancer - one 7 years ago and the second 6 years ago.

You are likely to feel very tired during chemo and food is likely to change in taste. You could also be nauseous. None of these symptoms will make it easy for you to cope with a three year old or with your housekeeping. If you have friends wanting to help, my advice would be to take them up on it. I am sure that there are some jobs which are not too onerous which you could give your Mum to do. She will probably find it easier being involved and helping you out rather than sitting at home and worrying about you.

Please let us know how you get on. There is always someone here for you whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi jessamay35

The chemo I had was called FEC-T, I was very anxious about starting it too. I live alone but have family nearby. I felt very nauseous but was given tablets and intravenous anti sickness which did help. I think the lethargy is a difficult one, my advice would be listen to your body and sleep when you need to, if possible with a three year old. 

It definately is do able, the nurses at the chemo unit are excellent, covering all symptoms with various medications.

Best wishes, do come back and let us know how you are, also if you need a chat.

Audrey x

Hi Jessamay,

I am a very self-reliant person, or should I say that I was prior to cancer taking over. I did have to accept help from others, particularly at work. My husband has been my rock. He has taken over all housework, ironing, shopping, cooking, etc, even though he has his own health problems. I was totally exhausted when I was diagnosed – I couldn’t even blame this on chemo, because I never had it. Instead of fighting this chronic fatigue, I found that I had to give in to it and I slept for most of the day in a chair, although I found it almost impossible to sleep at night. I gave in to this tiredness for a few years, until I began to feel a bit better.  This might not be so easy for you to do with your young son and your partner away from home throughout the week. Perhaps your Mum could spend some time with him to give you a rest?

My husband took me out to the theatre more often than we usually go. He also took me to the cinema, but I don’t think that I saw one show or film from beginning to end without falling asleep. He was constantly nudging me to keep me awake. The one good thing about going out at night was that it kept me away from Googling non-stop.

I think that to start with I was terrified of having the same sort of experience as my Mum, who had a horrendous time in her battle with cancer. I think of mine now as a cancer journey. I have spoken to many about cancer and demystified some of the ‘secrecy’ which still surrounds it to-day. I have also found that helping others has helped me too.

I attended all sorts of self-help classes to take back ownership of this disease – mindfulness, pain management, strength and balance, weight control, the full range of breast cancer nights, manual lymphatic drainage, acupuncture, physiotherapy, etc. Prior to doing this, I felt that I was on automatic pilot as cancer, my care team and hospital clinics had taken over my life. We have my in-laws to care for. They are in their late 90’s now and Mum-in-Law has severe dementia, although we are still managing to keep them in their own home. We also care for another relative who is quadriplegic, so I don’t have much time for self-pity. I have also kept on my work, although I have cut down my hours.

I guess that I have taken the attitude that if my life is likely to be shorter than the allotted three score years and ten, then I had better start living it to the full whilst I can. I am thankful that I am still here when I wake up every morning.

You will feel better once you get your treatment plan in place and feel that you are moving forward at last. Don’t worry about the nausea or the types of treatment, your care team will have this all worked out for you by Tuesday. As Audrey says, they can give you anti-sickness injections and tablets you can take at home. This part of your treatment is tailored to the individual, as we all react differently to treatment. If a particular chemo causes you problems they can change it. If the medication they give you for the nausea doesn’t work, there are plenty of others to try. You just need to communicate your problems.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx