Hello Voda,

Welcome to Cancer Chat.

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. I lost my Mum to breast cancer metastases and have had 2 bouts of primary breast cancer myself, so I am all too familiar with the shock of a cancer diagnoses. Have they told him what stage his cancer is at yet?

He may have the same view about cancer as my Mum had. She was convinced that you died with cancer, but she survived for 12 years before we lost her. That was 20 years ago and treatments have come a long way since then. Are you an only child or do you have other siblings? The best advice I can give you is to just be yourself.

Try to make pleasant memories instead of worrying about the bigger picture. Has he got all his papers in order? Is there anything that he would like to do or anyone he would like to see while he is fit enough to do so? Does he have any hobbies that could help to pass the time? Is he a reader or does he like music?

Reading can be a problem if he is going to have chemo, as he can feel very tired and may find it difficult to hold a book. If this is the case perhaps you could read to him? Is he sleeping at night or does he waken your Mum throughout the night? If so, perhaps you could look after your Dad for a few hours, to give your Mum a chance to catch up on some sleep. He may find that food tastes metallic when he has chemo. Cooking tasty, appetizing food might be helpful.

Please keep in touch and let us know how he is getting on. There is always someone here for you whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx